15 things Irish abroad are tired of hearing

1. “Oh my god, you’re Irish!!”

This is usually said at the start of a conversation when an Irish person opens their mouth. It usually results in a sigh by the Irish person who is thinking “here we go again” as he/she is about to be asked to say a famous Irish phrase and be an entertaining monkey for the foreign audience.

2. Say “top of the morning”

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It bewilders Irish people when we are asked to say “top of the morning” as it is widely understood to be a phrase that the Irish use regularly but nobody in Ireland actually uses it. The phrase was coined in a Holywood movie and for some reason English and Americans think its a common phrase in Ireland. In reality if they said it to an actual Irish person they would ether get laughed at or knocked the fuck out for being retarded.

Example:
Johnny:”I cant believe them Yankees are so retarded they actually think we say top o’ the mornin’ to ya”

paddy:”I know right, the fucking Gobshites”

3. Can you drink a lot?

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Foreigners have an expectation that an Irish person can drink everyone else under the table. They will feel very disappointed if you are turn out to be a lightweight!

4. What is this? I don’t think we can accept this (Northern Irish Bank notes in the rest of the UK)

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If you are from the north, you will feel almost criminal when trying to get rid of a Bank of Ireland note in England. Although it is perfectly acceptable Sterling money, they have no idea what the note is, usually don’t accept it and will give a confused face that says “what the hell is this??”

5. Are you guys part of the UK?

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A classic question, especially when asked by someone in England. Annoying for someone from the Independent south but even more annoying for a northerner who has experienced the toxic UK/United Ireland debate for their lifetime. The question may lead to a frustrating conversation which can lead to a conversation about British rule or ‘The Troubles’ which can result in an argument.

6. Why don’t you have red hair?

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A stereotypical Irish person will have red hair. Consequently, if you don’t have red hair, you will be interrogated and will have to explain that there are actually Irish people who do not have red hair (the majority of people).

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