A Sinn Fein TD is said to have set back Anglo/Irish relations by decades when he announced that the Coronavirus was the worst thing to happen to Ireland since the invasion and occupation of Ireland by Britain.
Speaking at a party to celebrate his election to the Dáil in the recent General Election, Frank Glynn the newly elected Sinn Fein TD for Roscommon told supporters and Media that the Coronavirus is the worst thing to happen to Ireland since the British Occupation.
Celebrations
The celebrations were held in the James Connolly Memorial Bar and Lounge. According to figures released by the Sinn Fein press office was attended by thousands of supporters, hundreds of reporters and Glynn’s friends and family, including his granny who had travelled up from Kerry to mark the occasion.
Some of the Boys
Some reporters who attended the gathering report seeing “a few lads wearing paramilitary-style jackets and balaclavas” sipping pints in the corner. The Sinn Fein press office wouldn’t comment on these reports.
Music for the celebrations was from a Wolfe Tones CD which was looped over and over again. And again the Sinn Fein press office wouldn’t comment on reports that the boys in the balaclavas were buying rakes of pints for all who attended.
Carried Shoulder High
Glynn, the newly anointed Sinn Fein TD was carried shoulder-high to the stage by hundreds of supporters — some going in front laying a path of palm leaves.
A hush descended over the multitude of supporters as Glynn began speaking — at first and following SF policy with a few words in Irish, then quickly reverting to English.
After thanking the ‘millions’ of people’ — according to figures released by Sinn Fein — who voted for him it wasn’t long before Glynn — again following Sinn Fein policy began to deride the Brits.
Brit Bashing
“This Coronavirus thing is all the fault of the Brits,” he said and continued. “For hundreds of years now they’ve been trying to control Ireland, so they have. Now that they’re out of Europe they’re shagging at it again, so they are.”
“First they started back in 1536 by sending over the Black and Tans and colonising the North. Then they introduced the Potato Blight Famine thing to starve us out — that was the first recorded incidence of biological warfare, so it was.”
“And now they’ve introduced the Coronavirus to our green shamrock shore, so they have.” He continued, making it up as he went along.
After allowing some moments to let the crowd engage with the standard shouts of ‘up the RA’ and a few verses of ‘Come Out You Black and Tans’ Glynn continued.
It’s No Accident
“It’s no accident that it’s called the Coronavirus — we all know that Corona is the Latina for a crown, so it is,” Glynn said to the hundreds of SF supporters who had all studied the classics.
“And what does the Crown represent?” He asked, then continued without waiting for an answer, “It represents British bloody imperialism, so it does.”
When contacted the Sinn Fein Press Office would not confirm or deny Glynn’s allegation that the Brits are responsible for the virus but issued a statement saying they wouldn’t rule it out. They also asked us to thanks the zillions (their figures) of people in Ireland who voted for them.
Disclaimer
This article is satire. We do satire articles because it is great craic and Irish people love it! Articles in this section are spoof articles which should not be taken as the truth, nor are they are intended to offend.
