A South Side Dublin man has claimed that there is nothing to see in Ireland outside Dublin.
He has since confirmed and stands by comments he made to a group of customers in a Dublin pub late last week.
The Irish Tourism Board are seeking an interim interlocutory injunction to prevent Pat O’Farrell (35) of Harold’s Cross Dublin from uttering dismissive comments about tourist attractions located outside of the capital.
The ITB has refused to issue a statement saying they don’t comment on potential court proceedings. However, Mr O’Farrell didn’t feel similarly constrained and spoke to reporters.
“I stand over everything I said,” he told us. “It’s not my fault that there was a rake of tourists in the pub. I just told the truth — there is feck all to see once you leave Dublin.”
“I mean look at it this way in Dublin you have all the old 1916 stuff, and you won’t find a better Viking castle yoke than Dublin Castle.
“As for beaches, Jaysus, and you won’t find a better beach to dip your toes in than Sandymount. And that’s the God’s truth.” He continued.
Rocks and more Rocks
O’Farrell is alleged to have been scathing in his remarks about some of the nation’s best-known tourist attractions.
“Look at the shagging Blarney Stone, he said to a tour-group of retired Philadelphian morticians. I mean how unhygienic is lying on your back kissing a bloody piece of rock. Jaysus you’d never know what you’d pick up.”
“And another thing,” He is reported as saying. “That fecking Burren place, shur what is it but a few fields covered in more shagging rocks. Jaysus if I had my way I’d bulldoze the whole place and build houses on it. And they give out about the housing shortage! Jaysus I ask you.”
“Take The Rock of Cashel, another bloody rock, at least there’s lots of things to do in Dublin like the Zoo, Temple Bar and that famous GPO place for people to visit. They don’t need to spend their days looking at rock after rock after bloody rock.
“And I’m not even going to mention the Giant’s Causeway or The Cliffs of Moher — more fecking rocks.”
‘Bloody Culchies’
O’Farrell who it is believed may also face charges of incitement to hatred is alleged to have been discriminatory to those living outside of Dublin.
“Bloody Culchies the lot of them,” he is alleged to have told the visiting tourists.
“The whole of the rest of the island is inhabited by Culchies, driving around on their tractors and jaunting carts or digging their turf.
“It’s bad enough having to put up with them when they come up to Croke Park once a year to be beaten by the Dubs but who in their right mind needs to see them in their natural environment?”
News Just In
As we go to press we have learned that the Tourist Board have been denied their interlocutory injunction.
High Court Judge Mr Fintan McGrath said in his summation “It is a prima facie principle that Dubliners hold a constitutional and established right to sit in pubs pontificating on the superiority of Dublin over the rest of the country.”
“We see no reason to alter this long-established tradition.” The Judge commented.
Pat O’Farrell and hundreds like him can be found in most Dublin pubs nightly. Audience discretion is advised.
Disclaimer
This article is satire. We do satire articles because it is great craic and Irish people love it! Articles in this section are spoof articles which should not be taken as the truth, nor are they are intended to offend.
