A well-known local football has revealed that he feels “shattered” and “distressed” after admitting that the mischievous phrase “I play county” failed to work on a night out.
The revelation comes after a recent study showed that 93% of county footballers need only be armed with these three words and are almost certainly guaranteed success.
The story behind “I play county”
It is said that the phrase “I play county” originated after the turn of the decade and finds its foundations in Counties Dublin and Down, before proliferating to all 32 counties of Ireland by the beginning of 2019.
Experts in the field have claimed that wearing a county jersey with a number on the back lost its authenticity once people who didn’t play county started to abuse the practice.
Robert Horan, Chief Executive of the Irish Nightclub and Pub Phrases, told Meanwhile in Ireland that the phrase in question was just what was needed.
“People started to grow wary of the numbered jerseys and wanted proof of the players’ who actually did play county. There was a spike in young lads across the North who wore their mates’ jersey to say they played county. Cute hoors the lot of them.
“And then ‘I play county’ was born. It was first started by Down footballers after they reached the All-Ireland final in 2010. It has caught like wildfire since.”
The night out
Whilst on a night out in Sally’s in Omagh, County Tyrone, Donal McShane approached a young female and simply said “I play county”. Almost robotic-like, the act had become routine for the young man, and he had not yet failed in his pursuit.
However, to his dismay, the girl swiftly walked past him, showing absolutely no respect or no signs of impression with McShane’s obvious sporting exploits.
The public’s reaction
Tributes have poured out for McShane who has now stepped away from the nightclub scene, unable to recover from the shame of that night.
“Ah, he’s done,” a team-mate said. “Once it doesn’t work, that’s you – you have to give it up! He did his bit. On to the next man and good luck to him whoever he is.”
The Gaelic Players Association (GPA) offered its support to McShane “in this vital time of need”, but it is believed that McShane has turned down the offer.
Donal McShane took to social media to respond to the situation and explain why he has decided to call it a day. In a lengthy Facebook post, McShane was nostalgic about “the good old times” and leaves the nightclub scene with “fond memories”.
“However,” he concluded, “I am distressed and shocked at what has happened, and I would appreciate full respect for my privacy at this critical juncture so that I can reflect on what has happened and plan the way forward from here.”
In a boost to all those who rely on the phrase, statistics obtained by Meanwhile in Ireland have shown that McShane’s failure has not had a negative effect nation-wide; not only are more county players making use of it, but success rate has increased. On to the next man.
This article is satire. We do satire articles because it is great craic and Irish people love it! Articles in this section are spoof articles which should not be taken as the truth, nor are they are intended to offend.