A politician from County Clare is said to be recovering in hospital from what doctors have termed “a disturbing and severe case of total amnesia.”
The diagnosis was made when the politician’s medical team discovered a copy of the politician’s political manifesto from the last elections and compared it to actions actually carried out by local politician since his election five years ago to the local county council.
“This is actually not all that unusual with politicians and occurrences of what we call Seasonally Adjusted Political Amnesia seem to spike as political terms come to their end and new elections are looming” Dr O’Meara informed us.
“Current medical research seems to indicate that as new elections loom, some — but not all — politicians experience great difficulty remembering the promises they made to their constituents during the run-up to the last elections.
“It’s not all that surprising when you study the symptoms.” he continued.
“I mean all that travelling and the trips abroad on Town Twinning committees, the study-groups to Brussels, and even the away weekends to conferences held all over Ireland, not to mention the annual goodwill trip to the States on St. Patrick’s festival for two weeks.
“Then, of course, you have the stress of filling out expenses claim forms once you get back. Add to that the necessity of attending a two-hour council meeting once a month. Not to mention slipping in and out of every funeral in the county It’s not an easy life. It takes its toll you know?”
A long-serving councillor
Clare County Councillor Paddy Joe Delahunty has been a long-serving member of the Clare Council since taking over his father’s seat in 1991 and has twice served as Mayor of the county after gaining his Fianna Fail party’s nomination.
His election manifesto during the last local election campaign was diverse and while concentrating on Local issues such as increasing the council’s public housing building program, improving water supply, the removal of Ennis’s parking meters, and no-charge buses, he also known for supporting both sides in the Abortion debate.
Paddy Joe who is a daily mass-goer also backed local proposals to hold a no-sex before marriage referendum. A campaign which never really got off the ground.
The view from his doctor
We asked Dr O’Meara could he be more specific about his patient.
Councilor Paddy Joe Delahunty’s case and while he was hesitant to speak about an individual case, he did — in his patient’s interest — open up.
“You see.” He said. “I’ve known Paddy Joe as both boy and man, ever since we played under-age hurling together for St. Flannans and a more decent man you wouldn’t find.
That nonsense about payment for planning permissions was just that – nonsense. Not a bit of truth there at all, just a vicious rumour started no doubt by that other shower and anyway nothing was ever proved, was it? He asked.
We were allowed to visit Councillor Paddy Joe in his private hospital room and we were amazed at the number of flowers and goodwill cards sent by land developers, big farmers, local solicitors, the clergy and even one from the Taoiseach himself.
Paddy Joe, God bless him, was unable to give us an interview, he seemed a bit distant constantly rocking back and forth in his bed and repeating phrases by heart.
“Planning re-zoning, housing lists, higher education grants for the sons of wealthy farmers, support the referendum, oppose the referendum, save our green spaces, increase urban construction.”
As we backed out of the room Paddy Joe rose and grasped our hands and repeated over and over again. “Shur, you won’t forget me at the ballot box, remember the number one for Paddy Joe Delahunty, your only man.”
Disclaimer
This article is satire. We do satire articles because it is great craic and Irish people love it! Articles in this section are spoof articles which should not be taken as the truth, nor are they are intended to offend.
