Meanwhile in Ireland

    SUBSCRIBE TO OUR NEWSLETTER!

    What's Hot

    DERRY GIRLS Cast: Where are they NOW?

    September 29, 2023

    10 reasons why IRELAND is the WORST country in the WORLD

    September 28, 2023

    The 10 BEST male ROLE MODELS in 2023

    September 27, 2023
    Facebook Twitter Instagram
    Meanwhile in Ireland
    • Home
    • News
    • Craic
    • Sports
    • More
      • All-Time Top Articles
      • Culture
      • Dublin
      • Funny
      • Irish People
      • Interesting News
      • Satire
      • The Drink!
      • Travel
      • TV and Movies
      • Viral
    • Shop
    Facebook YouTube Instagram TikTok
    Meanwhile in Ireland
    You are at:Home » News » Craic » Leave supporter wakes up from a 3-year-coma and asks to be put back until ‘Brexit is done’
    Craic Satire

    Leave supporter wakes up from a 3-year-coma and asks to be put back until ‘Brexit is done’

    Gerald LeinsterBy Gerald LeinsterNovember 22, 2019No Comments3 Mins Read
    Facebook Twitter WhatsApp Pinterest LinkedIn Tumblr Email
    Share:
    Facebook Twitter WhatsApp Pinterest Email

    A fifty-year-old Birmingham man has been revived from a three-year coma and has immediately asked doctors to re-sedate him.

    Thomas Lock, who suffered cranial nerve damage after a fall which occurred on 23 June 2016 — the day of the Brexit referendum — left him in an unconscious state, and was resuscitated by doctors in Birmingham yesterday.

    On wakening Lock, a qualified cost accountant spent the day in hospital talking to family and friends.

    A Full Recovery

    Credit: visualsonline.cancer.gov

    Professor Bernard Smyth, a leading consultant neurosurgeon, spoke to reporters at a press conference held at Queen Elizabeth Hospital, Birmingham.

    “Using a new regime of drugs, we were successfully able to bring about the recovery of Mr Lock,” the doctor said. 

    “Everything was going great with Lock’s recovery. He had complete memory recall and recounted how he tripped and fell in the street after voting ‘Leave’ in the Brexit referendum, thus damaging his head and knocking himself unconscious.

    “It was wonderful to see his recovery. He spent the day catching up with his wife and family, meeting his newborn grandson for the first time and getting to know his new daughter-in-law. He really was delighted,” Dr Smyth explained.

    Everything going well until he read the paper

    “Everything was going great — that is, until some fool left a copy of The Sun on his bedside locker and Lock glanced at it,” the doctor went on. “Oh my Sweet Jaysus” Lock is said to have exclaimed — “Brexit can’t seriously still be going on?” he asked.

    “At this stage,” Dr Smyth told reporters, “we noticed a sharp rise in the patient’s electrical nerve impulses along with a dramatic increase in blood pressure.

    Credit: European Parliament / Flickr

    “Seriously all those fancy machine thingies that you see in hospitals — sorry I forget what they’re called — you know the ones that go ‘Beep’ and have the fancy looking screens?

    “Well, they were simply going bananas with alarms sounding and lights flashing. Jaysus it scared the life out of me,” the Doctor and Professor of Neurology confessed.

    Prognoses 

    “We couldn’t understand what was going on until Lock told us after he had calmed down,” Smyth said.

    “Like, in all fairness to him, he had had his fill of Brexit during the run-up to the referendum. What, with listening to David Cameron drone on and on and Boris Johnson running around the country preaching from the back of a bloody great bus. Like, the poor man didn’t even know who Teresa May was.

    “Now he wakes up to discover she’s been and gone as Prime Minister. Johnson has pulled more strokes with the Queen than her bloody corgis and now he’s running Britain.

    “Seriously, it’s a lot to take in, especially since it never looks like ending. Anyway, he’s so fed up with the situation; he simply wants to go back to sleep for another three or four years and, to be honest, can you blame him?” the doctor asked.

    The Meanwhile in Ireland Medical and Political Desk understands that Lock will be placed in an induced coma for five years just in case Brexit drags on.

    We also understand that thousands of similar applications have been received from people all over Britain to be comatose while the election and Brexit negotiations are ongoing.   

    Disclaimer

    This article is satire. Articles in this section are spoof articles which should not be taken as the truth, nor are they are intended to offend. However, if you are offended, please inform us formally via a letter. You can ensure it gets to us by placing it in the nearest recycling bin.

    Share. Facebook Twitter WhatsApp Pinterest LinkedIn Tumblr Email
    Avatar photo
    Gerald Leinster
    • Website

    Gerald Leinster is one of Ireland's most noteworthy journalists, columnists and commentator on Irish and international issues. Often accused of being more right-wing than Genghis Khan whom he admires greatly, Gerald is an Oxbridge graduate. He has authored many best-selling books including the recent ' The Margaret Thatcher I knew and Loved' and his previous bestseller 'Reagan, Bush, and Trump -- Gods of Their Time.' In his spare time, you might find Gerald relaxing on a golf course in Kildare, watching International rugby or dining out in Dublin's more fashionable restaurants. Although he strives for a professional journalistic apolitical stance, he feels strongly about the reunification of Ireland and the UK. He also holds membership of both Fine Gael and Fianna Fail.

    Related Posts

    10 reasons why IRELAND is the WORST country in the WORLD

    By Jade PoleonSeptember 28, 2023

    The 10 BEST male ROLE MODELS in 2023

    By Jade PoleonSeptember 27, 2023

    Top 5 best Irish boy bands of all time, RANKED

    By Nicola SpendloveSeptember 25, 2023

    Top 10 hilarious Irish dirty jokes (laughter guaranteed)

    By Jade PoleonSeptember 25, 2023
    Latest Articles

    DERRY GIRLS Cast: Where are they NOW?

    September 29, 2023

    10 reasons why IRELAND is the WORST country in the WORLD

    September 28, 2023

    The 10 BEST male ROLE MODELS in 2023

    September 27, 2023

    Irish name is the most mispronounced name in the world

    September 27, 2023
    SUBSCRIBE TO OUR NEWSLETTER!
      Thank you for Signing Up
    Please correct the marked field(s) below.
    1,true,6,Contact Email,2 1,false,1,First Name,2 1,false,1,Last Name,2
    Stay In Touch
    • Facebook
    • Twitter
    • Instagram
    • TikTok
    Don't Miss

    BREAKING: The Guinness Guru has tested positive for COVID-19 on lateral flow test

    By Siân McQuillanDecember 9, 2021

    Daragh, AKA The Guinness Guru, has grown a huge social media following by travelling around…

    10 insane Guinness World Records held by Irish people

    September 13, 2022

    Cork-based company launches new joint venture with KTO Group

    July 4, 2023

    Old Irish goats are moving to Dublin to prevent wildfires

    September 9, 2021

    We specialise in Bizarre Irish News, Viral Videos and general Irish Craic.

    • Home
    • About us
    • Contact us
    • Guests Posts
    • Team
    • Work for us
    • Terms of use
    • Privacy policy
    • Disclaimer
    • Copyright
    • Shop
    Follow us

    Connect with us on your favourite social media app.

    Facebook Twitter Instagram Youtube TikTok
    Contact us

    19 Arthur St, Belfast, Northern Ireland, BT1 4GA.

    [email protected]
    SUBSCRIBE TO OUR NEWSLETTER!
      Thank you for Signing Up
    Please correct the marked field(s) below.
    1,true,6,Contact Email,2 1,false,1,First Name,2 1,false,1,Last Name,2
    ©Copyright 2019 - Meanwhile in Ireland | Trading under Emerald Green Media

    Type above and press Enter to search. Press Esc to cancel.