Home Craic Sinn Féin advise singing Celtic Symphony will help tackle coronavirus

Sinn Féin advise singing Celtic Symphony will help tackle coronavirus

Sinn Féin, which substantially increased its vote share in the recent general election in February 2020, has thrown their hat into the political debate regarding coronavirus containment procedures by claiming to have found a cure for the deadly disease.

With some political commentators reporting that this is just a publicity stunt to strengthen and curry public favour, party President Mary Lou McDonald is adamant that singing two verses of the popular Wolfe Tones rebel song ‘Celtic Symphony’ will help lessen the risk of people acquiring the virus.

Cameraman threatened 

Image result for mary lou mcdonald
Credit: Sinn Féin / Flickr

Speaking to reporters on the steps of Leinster House where she had spent the morning slapping other party leaders around Ms. McDonald said: “It’s obvious to me and it should be obvious to even those two dickheads Varadkar and what’s his name, you know the Fianna Fail lad?” She asked the reporters while throwing a nasty and threatening glance at the kneecaps of a BBC cameraman who was standing a bit too close to her.

“All the medical evidence we have to hand tells us that the coronavirus starts in the nasal passages — that means Joan Burton is fecked,” she joked then continued. “As I said it starts in the nasal passages then proceeds down the throat and infects the lungs.”

The Shinners’ proposals

File:Mary Lou McDonald TD, Michelle O'Neill MLA & Pearse Doherty TD (31784165677).jpg
Credit: commons.wikimedia.org

“What people need to do is to force air up through the lungs and blow the virus germs clean away and the best way to that is to blast out a couple of verses of a decent auld rebel song like Celtic Symphony, especially the bit with the ‘Oh Ah Up The Ra’.

“You really need to give it a fairly decent blast to get it right,” the President of Sinn Féin and saviour of Irish democracy said, before continuing: “And listen to me carefully as I’ll only say this once, I’m talking a fairly decent blast — a bit like the Canary Wharf one that the lads did before the ceasefire.”

Image result for the wolfe tones

Reporters listening to Ms. McDonald understood this to be a reference to the London Docklands bombing of 1996 which was carried out by people who really-really-really have no connection to Sinn Féin and have no influence within the party, at all, at all. Honest!

Ms. McDonald who was wearing a chic business sort of a frock thingy which was elegantly cut to allow for the wearing of concealed weapons if required, continued to criticise the other two leading parties by saying: “Shur that lot couldn’t blow their way out of a paper bag, so they couldn’t.”

Proposals go to Department of Health

Image result for irish department of health
The Department of Health in Dublin. Credit: commons.wikimedia.org

Meanwhile in Ireland’s political team, who were covering the event, understands that the Sinn Féin proposals have gone to the Department of Health which is expected to begin immediate activation of them. 

We are informed that senior health officials are so scared of Mary Lou if she says jump they ask how high. Leo Varadkar is said to be raging as he is stuck in Washington and can’t do anything about it.  

Follow us on social media

648,240FansLike
45,129FollowersFollow
2,917FollowersFollow

Most Popular

Paddy The Pintman Goes to Las Vegas

The next chapter of Paddy The Pintman, sees Paddy end up in Vegas... There...

Paddy The Pintman and the search for a pint during lockdown

Paddy The Pintman is a sprightly 45-year-old County Kerry farmer. He is an only son lives alone...

Ian Paisley Jr to self-isolate himself in the Maldives

Northern Ireland politician and Member of Parliament Ian Paisley Jr (54) has announced that because of the...

Civil Service worker hospitalised for exhaustion after doing full days work

A forty-year-old civil service worker has been hospitalised for exhaustion after completing one full day of work....