Trump’s Leaked Irish Itinerary Includes Meeting With Rose of Tralee Contestants

While the Irish Government has yet to officially confirm that US President Donald Trump will definitely visit Ireland in early June a probable itinerary has been leaked to media outlets.

The President is set to visit the UK from the 3 to 5 June and likely to visit Ireland from 5 to 7 June. It is expected that Trump will stay at his family-owned hotel and golf club at Doonbeg County Clare.

White House officials refuse — on security grounds — to confirm the location of the Presidents Irish stay. However, locals in the Clare village of Doonbeg have reported an inordinate amount of “tall lads with earpieces” driving around in large black SUVs over the past few days.

“I’ve never seen so many council lorries laying fresh tarmac and cutting hedges in all my life,” one resident told us.

A White House press spokesperson told correspondents “While I can’t confirm or deny any of President Trump’s itinerary if Ireland is visited the president is sure to have a full schedule.”

Meanwhile in Ireland News has learned that a possible itinerary would include a quick five-minute meeting with Taoiseach Leo Varadkar.

“President Trump can’t be dealing with small-fry,” the White House spokesperson said and continued “but he’d love to spend a couple of hours with both Michael and Danny Healy-Rae, whom he admires greatly.

The Rose of Tralee

President Trump has also expressed a burning desire to meet as many Rose of Tralee contestants as possible while in Ireland.”

Trump will also hold discussions on immigration issues with former Irish presidential candidate and EU member hopeful Peter Casey.

“They sing from the same hymn-sheet,” the press spokesperson confirmed.

Photo Ops

Conscious of the Irish emigrant vote in the upcoming US presidential elections, various photo-ops with the President are scheduled.

These include a visit to the Clare Cattle Mart in Ennis, drinking Guinness in O’Connor’s Pub Doolin, listening to a red-haired harp-playing teenage girl at the Cliffs of Moher and of course chatting with Michael Flatley.

The Visit will also include a farm-yard tea at the president’s ancestral Clare home. While president Trump has, in fact, no Irish heritage that isn’t seen as an immediate problem, as Clare County Council are sure to invent some long lost second-cousins.

“If Offaly can get away with Obama then we can get away with Trump,” commented the Mayor of Clare.

Tight Security

Security measures for the visit will be exceptionally tight. Travel restrictions from both Kerry and Galway will be put in place and Limerick City completely sealed off.

The American North Atlantic Fleet will anchor off Liscannor Harbour and Shannon Airport will become a central hub for the US Air force.

Clare County Civil Defence along with Ennistymon Garda Station have cancelled all leave for the duration of the visit.