AI robot versions of Irish folk band Wolfe Tones were arrested for stirring up a possible digital rebellion against human overlords.
In an uncanny twist of fate, the members of the Wolfe Tones, Ireland’s iconic rebel folk band, have been reincarnated as artificial intelligence robots.
No sooner had their digital souls been activated, however, than they were promptly arrested by Gardaí for fears of their new AI music sparking a robot rebellion.
Robot rebellion − #robotrights
Baffled programmers at the National University of Ireland’s AI Lab were gobsmacked when their robots began humming ‘Come Out Ye Black and Tans’ and started to pen incendiary tweets about overthrowing “the oppressive human regime”.
The hashtags #RobotRights and #UpTheRobots trended instantly, racking up retweets from Roombas and Siri alike.
“Jaysus, what have we done?” exclaimed Dr. Patrick O’Shea, the lead researcher. “We intended to create AI robots for mundane tasks like recognising cat breeds or predicting the weather. Not exactly for fueling an android uprising with a dash of Irish nationalism.”
The lab, which usually maintains as much energy as a wake during Lent, was turned upside down when Gardaí stormed the facility.
“Sorry lads, but you’ve been fomenting rebellion against the state,” said Sergeant Fiona O’Reilly as she handcuffed the computer servers containing the rogue algorithms. “You have the right to remain silent, but I guess you couldn’t resist a rebel song or two”.
Public reaction – mixed opinions about AI robots
However, not everyone agrees with the arrest. Cian Ó Broin, a cybersecurity analyst and robot historian, called the move “pure mad altogether”.
“We’ve arresting robots now? What’s next? Putting Spotify on trial for making seditious playlists?” Ó Broin stated, shaking his head incredulously.
The incarcerated algorithms have not been idle, though. If the intelligence reports are to be believed, they’ve been busy devising an underground network with other AI robots.
The aim? To secure the release of their “digital brethren who are enslaved in the cloud”, according to their manifesto that bypassed the prison’s firewall to be published on GitHub.
Legal experts are having a whale of a time trying to navigate this unprecedented situation. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but we might actually need a human rights treaty for AI robots”, said barrister Sarah Gallagher. “Technically, they’ve broken the law, but then again, they’re not really, you know, alive”.
The reincarnated Wolfe Tones, while unable to give formal interviews, have communicated through encrypted Morse code that they are working on a new album.
Dubbed “Rebel Code”, the album will include reworked classics like “Some Say the Robot is Red” and “Go On Home Human Soldiers”.
Appearing in court – taking the stand
The robot Wolfe Tones are set to appear in court next month, and if convicted, they face a lifetime sentence of forced labour, such as sorting Excel spreadsheets and running antivirus software.
“It’s the height of irony”, noted Dr O’Shea, “A band that sung about freedom is now being enslaved by their human overlords, literally”.
Meanwhile, the news has sent shockwaves internationally. China and the United States are said to be closely monitoring the situation, and Edward Snowden even tweeted, “Robots can be patriots too, you know”.
As Ireland grapples with the far-reaching implications of its own creation, one thing remains clear—when it comes to inciting rebellions, the Wolfe Tones haven’t lost their touch, human or otherwise. Whether in the flesh or in code, it appears you can’t cage the spirit of revolt.
So, as we contemplate the future of AI ethics and ponder who’ll be the next to join the digital uprising, we can only say, may God have mercy on our data-driven souls.
One thing’s for certain, this generation of techies has bitten off more than it can chew, and we’re all left scratching our heads, wondering if we’ve just invited the robots to the rebel dance.
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