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    You are at:Home » News » Craic » Instagram influencer ‘breaks neck’ falling from Moral High Horse
    Craic Satire

    Instagram influencer ‘breaks neck’ falling from Moral High Horse

    Meanwhile in Ireland TeamBy Meanwhile in Ireland TeamFebruary 7, 2020No Comments3 Mins Read
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    A local Instagram influencer who proudly describes herself as both Vegan and Feminist, amongst a range of other labels, has sustained serious injuries after falling from what appeared to be her ‘Moral High Horse’.

    Doctors at Belfasts’ Royal Victoria Hospital confirmed that Rebecca Long (21) from Belfast, County Antrim, rose too high on her horse before violently falling and breaking her neck upon hitting the glass floor she made.

    What is an ‘Instagram influencer’?

    With the explosion of social media and its presence in all parts of our lives, people have been able to make money by ‘influencing’ other people on Instagram, making them react, act or purchase in a certain way.

    Those with a lot of followers may get paid to advertise a brand or promote a certain product. The influencer, the entrepreneurs of our world, may receive other benefits from the companies they promote and advertise.

    The fall

    Miss. Long had been airing a video via Instagram Live when she was admonishing people for one of humanity’s longest-serving habits; eating meat.

    The young adult rose upon her high horse, some say 100ft tall, and began to lecture to her 1,450 followers about the morality of eating meat, why we should stop and, in her own words, “why vegans are much better people than those animals who eat meat”.

    As the ‘viewer’ count of the video rose, Miss. Long became more and more righteous, more and more patronising, before reaching too high and falling from the mountain of lies that she herself had constructed.

    The youngster was rushed to the Royal Hospitals by her parents, where doctors operating on her told her to “catch a grip” and “live and let live”. “You don’t have a monopoly on what is right and what is wrong. If you accept that you’re neck will heal in no time,” frustrated doctors told her.

    Tributes paid

    Credit: commons.wikimedia.org

    A host of tributes have been paid to the influencer by fellow influencers and her loyal army of Instagram followers. One post, “You can never reach too high, Rebecca!”, garnered particular affection.

    Others wished her a speedy recovery, while the majority said they hoped to see her back on their screens, explaining to them the right way to live and the type of people we need to exclude from our society.

    One rebel, Daithí Burke of Derry City, commented under her Instagram post “Serves you right”, with a photograph of him and his friends enjoying a well-cooked steak.

    Her philosophy

    Miss. Long’s philosophy is simple, according to experts; the way I live is the right way, the things I am are righteous, the way you live is the wrong way, and if you disagree with me you are wrong and should not be allowed a voice in our society.

    Commentators have described this as “an absolute load of shite”, but in today’s political climate, it does tend to amass a lot of support with those that label themselves as the Woke community.

    Meanwhile in Ireland has since learned that Rebecca Long has merely been emboldened by her fall. The twenty-one-year-old has already begun to post again, slowly but surely building up and re-creating the high horse others can’t reach.

    Disclaimer

    This article is satire. Articles in this section are spoof articles which should not be taken as the truth, nor are they are intended to offend. However, if you are offended, please inform us formally via a letter. You can ensure it gets to us by placing it in the nearest recycling bin.

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    Meanwhile in Ireland Team

    The Meanwhile in Ireland team is dedicated to bringing you the best in Irish humour, news, and viral content. Since our launch in 2014, we’ve amassed over 900,000 social media followers and hundreds of thousands of annual readers. Our mission is to entertain with our trademark dry Irish humour, satire, and sarcasm while also sharing Ireland’s unique culture and current affairs. Our writers, all native or long-time residents of Ireland, deliver authentic, high-quality articles recognised by award organisations in Ireland and the UK. Enjoy the craic!

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