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    You are at:Home » News » Craic » Croke Park to be renamed the ‘SSE Airtricity Arena’
    Craic Satire

    Croke Park to be renamed the ‘SSE Airtricity Arena’

    Gerald LeinsterBy Gerald LeinsterAugust 9, 2019No Comments3 Mins Read
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    Ireland’s premier GAA arena, Croke Park is to be renamed the SSE Airtricity Arena.

    The announcement was made last night at a press conference at the GAA Headquarters.

    Speaking at the launch of the ‘New Name initiative’ GAA President John Horan said.

    “It’s the right time for the GAA to go this route. Going forward we need to follow the money and use sponsorship to bring the Gaelic sporting bodies well and truly into the twenty-first century.”

    Archbishop Thomas Croke is Old News

    Horan shocked and angered many at the press conference when he said,” Thomas Croke was a great man and it was right and fitting that the premier Gaelic stadium was named after him. But that was then this is now. It’s time to move on.

    The audience was even more annoyed whit some of the other proposed sponsorship measures.

    The All Ireland Leagues will in future be referred to as the SSE Airtricity Games. And a new design of hurley shaped like a lightning bolt which incorporates the SSE Airtricity logo will be used.

    Horan went on to say. “For ten years now Airtricity has been sponsoring the FAI with their foreign English soccer. It’s only right that true Irish sportsmen and even a few women get a slice of the cake.”

    Partnership

    Marketing Manager with SSE Airtricity Steven Hubble told the audience, “We at Airtricity are delighted to enter into a partnership with the GAA. We have reviewed our feedback from our soccer investment and to be frank we are not overly impressed with the returns.”

    Hubble went on to explain. “Ok, we have had a fairly good return from the cities and more urban areas but we need to diversify our profile into the more rural areas. That’s why we decided to team up with the GAA. I came up with the Culchie initiative. The GAA has a strong base in rural Ireland and we want to tap into that.”

    He went on to outline.” We plan a whole new approach to the Gaelic scene in Rural Ireland. On our agenda is a complete facelift for rural clubs and competitions. These include sponsorship deals with clubs which agreed to a simple name-change. We have already signed up SSE Airtricity St Colmcilles (Meath) and SSE Airtricity Na Piarsaigh (Cork) GAA Club.”

    Sam Maguire also to be renamed

    Meanwhile in Ireland Sports Department also understands that the GAA new sponsorship deal includes a dramatic name change for both the Sam Maguire and the Liam McCarthy cups.

    The finals will still take place in Dublin in the former Croke Park.

    Going forward the Championships will be known as the SSE Airtricity Played with Sticks and the SSE Airtricity Played without Sticks Championships.

    Disclaimer

    This article is satire. Articles in this section are spoof articles which should not be taken as the truth, nor are they are intended to offend. However, if you are offended, please inform us formally via a letter. You can ensure it gets to us by placing it in the nearest recycling bin.

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    Gerald Leinster
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    Gerald Leinster is one of Ireland's most noteworthy journalists, columnists and commentator on Irish and international issues. Often accused of being more right-wing than Genghis Khan whom he admires greatly, Gerald is an Oxbridge graduate. He has authored many best-selling books including the recent ' The Margaret Thatcher I knew and Loved' and his previous bestseller 'Reagan, Bush, and Trump -- Gods of Their Time.' In his spare time, you might find Gerald relaxing on a golf course in Kildare, watching International rugby or dining out in Dublin's more fashionable restaurants. Although he strives for a professional journalistic apolitical stance, he feels strongly about the reunification of Ireland and the UK. He also holds membership of both Fine Gael and Fianna Fail.

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