“Lad of the year” found dead at 21 – overdosed on banter at 3 am this morning

A twenty-one-year-old man was found dead last night outside a Tralee pub. Initial reports say he overdosed on some top quality banter.

Jimmy Hanley (21) of Stoke Cottages, Tralee was found dead last night in the Auld Chicken Pub, Main Street Tralee, County Kerry. Jimmy, who once won the “Lad of the Year” award (2017) is survived by his mammy and more importantly by the lads.

Tributes Paid

A spokesperson for the lads — a loosely organised group of young men who hang around various pubs, GAA matches and street corners, and who are always up for the bit of craic — said, “Our hearts go out to Jimmy’s mammy and all our fellow lad members especially in Kerry where Jimmy was well known as ‘one of the lads.’

Kevin McDermott, an active member of the Kerry Lads, spoke on behalf of lads everywhere. “Ah, shur, ’tis terrible news altogether so it is, poor Jimmy, God rest him,” McDermott said, accurately capturing the sense of deep loss permeating throughout Kerry after the news broke.

Jimmy’s body was discovered slumped behind some bar seating in the lounge area of the Auld Chicken Pub in the early hours of this morning.

Gardaí are not treating the death as suspicious but the State Pathologist’s assistant Nora O’Keeffe — who only got the job ‘cos she had her own set of white overalls and plastic gloves and who doesn’t seem to mind handling corpses — is expected to visit the scene later this afternoon.

Garda Investigation Begins

Garda Inspector Mick Dolan who is leading the investigation told reporters “while we honestly don’t think anyone harmed Jimmy, like beating him over the head with a hurley or something, we can’t rule out foul play this early in our investigations.”

He continued, “Our initial enquiries, based on interviews with other lads who were there suggest that Jimmy was just engaging in plain and simple banter with other lads or to use a non-medical term ‘he was having great craic altogether’, and it just got the better of him, so it did.’” The Inspector said.

An Eye-Witness Account

Tommy Flynn, who was a mate of Jimmy and who was present with him last night, spoke to reporters. “Ah feck, shur, Jaysus it’s terrible news altogether. Jaysus we were all there in the pub having the banter and the craic.”

“Sam O’Brien was slagging off Goggles Murphy about the young-wan he took to the pictures last Tuesday and Baldy Mick was doing his usual, giving out about the fecking immigrant fellas taking all the jobs when someone let-off a massive fart, — Jaysus the stink of it. Anyway, O’Brien stood up sudden like and knocked over Murphy’s pint — spilt it all down the front of his trousers, so it looked like he had just pissed himself, so it did.” He said, then continued.

“Jaysus we were all laughing and shur, it was great craic when all of a sudden Jimmy who was laughing so hard went and fell over the back of the sofa, but shur the banter was so great no one took a blind bit of notice,” he related.

“It wasn’t until young Sheila who was doing the early morning cleaning noticed the body that we realised something was up.” He added. “Jaysus, he must have hit the back of his head or something or maybe it was the stink of the fart, but either way he’s shagging dead and that’s the end of him,” Flynn said with a lack of sensitivity.

Follow Up News

The young-wan from the State Pathologist’s office did indeed visit the scene and later reported that someone has had stolen Jimmy’s body. Gardaí are now investigating suspicions that some of the lads took the body — just for the craic yeno, as a last bit of banter with Jimmy, God rest his soul.