Limerick man accuses ‘half-naked jogger’ of causing his collision

A unique and unusual defence was put forward in Limerick District Court today when a thirty-year-old male appeared on charges of driving without due care and attention.

Thomas McDonagh of 55 O’Malley Drive Garryowen appeared on foot of a Garda summons after he rear-ended the car in front of him on the 12^th May. The accident occurred at Punches Cross during rush hour traffic.

Defence

McDonagh told Judge Jeffery Fitzpatrick, that on the day in question he had just finished his volunteer work at the Animal rescue shop and was driving toward the Crescent Shopping Center to pick up shopping for his elderly neighbour when the accident occurred.

“It was like this your-honour,” McDonagh said. “There I was waiting in line for the lights to change when she jogged out from around the corner — wearing next to nothing she was.

“The skimpiest of tops on her and her womanly bits jingling and jangling for all to see as she jogged along, ’twas like something you’d see on page three of the Sun. I was so distracted my foot slipped from the clutch and I ran straight into the back of the car in front.” McDonagh told the Judge.

RSA worried by increased figures

Dr Kieran Dooley of the Road Safety Authority — called by the defence, told the court that the RSA is aware of numerous similar collisions which can be linked to temporary temperature spikes.

“It’s as if as soon as there is a bit of a heat, women pedestrians and joggers lose the run of themselves, causing mayhem on the roads.” He said.

“Our minor collusion figures when compared with Met Eireann’s statistics show there is a definite link. So much so that we are launching a nation-wide publicity campaign asking women to cover up properly while jogging.”

“Apart from anything else, all that bouncing up and down can’t be good for them, and it’s a terrible distraction for the average male motorist. We are calling on the Minister to introduce guidelines on a dress code for female joggers. Or perhaps a reduction on the VAT on sports-bras,” he added.

Case Dismissed

Judge Fitzpatrick then viewed dash-cam video footage of the incident which clearly showed the jogger just before the collision.

“There are definitely strong mitigating circumstances here which I must take into account.” The Judge said in summation.

“In my opinion, the defendant is entirely blameless.

He acted in a manner totally normal for any male in similar circumstances and I find he has no case to answer.”

The judge recommended that yellow weather warnings be issued when temperatures are expected to rise. He also admonished the Gardaí for wasting the courts time and fined the young lady jogger €500 under the Offences Against Public Decency Act.