An unnaturally tan Irishman has strenuously denied allegations that he has obtained his bronze colour as a result of the excessive use of sunbeds.
Kevin Maguire, from Belfast in County Antrim, rebuffed the claims today in a Facebook Live post watched by thousands across the city and country.
The allegations
The allegations were raised after Maguire could be seen socialising amongst his untanned and unsunned companions whilst on a trip through the city centre.
A bypasser noted the irregularity and immediately alerted police.
In a statement obtained by Meanwhile in Ireland, Joseph Keller said:
“There’s no way that young lad is that tan. His friends were as white as ghosts and here is this fella walking about as if he was hit by a ray of sunshine. I felt it necessary to come forward and expose this nonsense.”
The police then informed Maguire of the claims made against him, which forced the teen to take to social media to defend his character.
The Facebook Address
In a post entitled “Kevin Maguire: My Defence”, Maguire was defiant as he addressed the nation from the gates of the City Hall.
“I strongly deny any of these false allegations made against me”, Maguire began his address. “To think that someone would make up such lies about me is difficult to take.
“While I don’t think the claims against me warrant too much attention, I believe it necessary to speak to you live to clear my name and set the record straight.
“Anyone who knows me would know that I am not capable of taking a sunbed. It just simply isn’t in my nature and I urge whoever came forward to immediately withdraw their claims.
“This is my natural colour and I will not have anyone tell me otherwise. I hope you will support me,” Maguire concluded, who was visibly upset by all of this distress.
The public response
Initially, social media friends and admirers of Maguire took to his defence, rubbishing the claims made against him and praising the young teen’s resolve and, what they believed, his natural summer colour.
However, public opinion began to shift when one prudent social media follower pointed out the time of year.
“It’s November and he’s telling us this is his natural colour? Not a chance of it. Enough of this shite/nonsense. You were on the sunbeds – admit it!”
People began to ‘unfriend’ and ‘unfollow’ Maguire it what was a clear reproach to the Belfast man’s lies and now obvious use of sunbeds.
Police statement
In a statement relayed to the media, Deputy Chief Constable Andrew Morrison stated that the police “were, in light of the holes pointed out in Mr Maguire’s story, investigating the claims vigorously and we are confident that we can bring charges in the coming days.”
This development has come off the back of an increase in complaints made about young lads and sunbeds.
The investigative team at Meanwhile in Ireland have obtained documentation pertaining to show a 321% increase in the use of sunbeds across 18-21-year-old young men in Belfast and Ireland.
More to follow in the coming days.
Disclaimer
This article is satire. Articles in this section are spoof articles which should not be taken as the truth, nor are they are intended to offend. However, if you are offended, please inform us formally via a letter. You can ensure it gets to us by placing it in the nearest recycling bin.
