The beloved show Derry Girls delighted our screens for three fantastic seasons, so let’s take a look at the best quotes of all time.
Derry Girls held the hearts of viewers around the world for three hilarious, moving, and undeniably iconic seasons.
Across those three seasons, we were graced with countless brilliant quotes that were simply hilarious all on their own or were backed by a deeper historical context that made them even better.
So, without further ado, let’s take a look at the ten best Derry Girls quotes of all time, ranked.
- The beloved show Derry Girls delighted our screens for three fantastic seasons, so let’s take a look at the best quotes of all time.
- 10. “Don’t say knickers in front of your da, he can’t cope” – starting off strong
- 9. “We’re girls, we’re poor, we’re from Northern Ireland, and we’re Catholic, for Christ’s sake!” – hilarious and true
- 8. “It’s a pity, cause I think there’s something really sexy about the fact that they hate us so much” – classic Michelle
- 7. “Macaulay Culkin isn’t a Protestant, ma!” – news to us all
- 6. “Ach, Fionnula, what about you? I thought I could smell vinegar” – she doesn’t mince words
- 5. “Half-load goes against everything I stand for, you know that da” – every Irish mother
- 4. “Relax love, we’ve a good two or three hours before the rioting starts” – casual
- 3. “Protestants don’t like ABBA” – they keep their toasters in the cupboard, too
- 2. “You might want to think about wising up” – wise words
- 1. “And what if it does? What if no one else has to die? What if all this becomes a ghost story that you’ll tell your weans one day?” – one of the most touching quotes from the series’
10. “Don’t say knickers in front of your da, he can’t cope” – starting off strong
We start our list of the best Derry Girls quotes with this hilarious line from Ma Mary from the show’s inaugural episode in season 1.
After finding her cousin Orla reading her diary, Erin brings the matter to her mother, asking, “What’s next? Will I catch her trying on my knickers?”.
9. “We’re girls, we’re poor, we’re from Northern Ireland, and we’re Catholic, for Christ’s sake!” – hilarious and true
This gem comes from season 3, episode 1 when the gang are petrified of their GCSE results. Terrified that they’ve all failed their exams, this quote, while hilarious, also brings in the very real historical context that makes the show what it is.
8. “It’s a pity, cause I think there’s something really sexy about the fact that they hate us so much” – classic Michelle
This is Michelle’s totally rational response to Erin telling her, “You can’t marry an Orangeman Michelle!”.
7. “Macaulay Culkin isn’t a Protestant, ma!” – news to us all
Ma Mary mistakes child star Macaulay Culkin for someone Erin has met at a “Friends Across the Barricades” summer scheme after Erin tells her mother, “Teenagers have rights, you know”. This brilliant quote comes from one of the best episodes of the show.
6. “Ach, Fionnula, what about you? I thought I could smell vinegar” – she doesn’t mince words
It’s no secret that Aunt Sarah is as ditsy and as unaware as they come, and this hilarious greeting to the chip shop owner couldn’t reflect that any more. Fionnula’s face in response just says it all!
5. “Half-load goes against everything I stand for, you know that da” – every Irish mother
If there’s one thing anybody who grew up in an Irish household knows, it’s that Irish ma’s don’t do half-loads.
It’s a bit like leaving the immersion on. Hell hath no fury like a mother catching you with a half-load of washing on.
4. “Relax love, we’ve a good two or three hours before the rioting starts” – casual
Granda Joe speaks the mind of everyone heading to Donegal or wherever it may be to find solace from the parades of the 12th of July.
This quote reflects the laid-back mindset of those who grew up in a civil war-torn Northern Ireland. Surrounded by violence and conflict, things like riots simply aren’t cause for great concern!
3. “Protestants don’t like ABBA” – they keep their toasters in the cupboard, too
Derry Girls creator Lisa McGee took to Twitter after this episode was aired to clarify, “’Protestants hate Abba’ is not a belief I hold. It’s a belief held by Orla McCool”.
Anyone who grew up in Northern Ireland heard a number of old wives tales that set Protestants and Catholics apart, like the ‘fact’ that Catholics keep the toaster on the counter while Protestants keep them in the cupboard.
2. “You might want to think about wising up” – wise words
A list of the best Derry Girls quotes would be incomplete without a classic one-liner from Sister Michael. Played by Siobhán McSweeney, she is certainly one of the funniest characters in the show.
Her deadpan humour and blatant disregard for the feelings of her students were essential to the success of the show.
1. “And what if it does? What if no one else has to die? What if all this becomes a ghost story that you’ll tell your weans one day?” – one of the most touching quotes from the series’
In the haunting finale of the show, Granda Joe delivers one of the best Derry Girls quotes of all time.
Erin struggles to come to terms with the outcome of the Good Friday Agreement if it’s voted ahead, saying, “Innocent people died Granda…Nothing can ever make that ok and the people who took those lives are just going to walk free?
“What if we do it and it was all for nothing? What if we vote yes and it doesn’t even work?”. Granda Joe’s memorable rebuttal is followed by the final, moving scenes at the polling station, accompanied by The Cranberries’ ‘Dreams’, to deliver one of the most poignant moments in the show.
BONUS ENTRY: “Have you got a Union Jack splashed across your tits, Clare?” – We couldn’t leave out this cracker line from Michelle when Clare turns up at the house party with the ‘Children of Chernobyl’ wearing a Union Jack t-shirt to “make a point”.
She is quickly embraced by Clive, the wee Protestant from East Belfast who wound up in Derry by accident.
For a full comprehensive guide to Derry Girls, check out our ultimate Derry Girls Guide with episodes ranked best to worst.
