Motorists across Ireland were left reeling this morning at reports that M50 toll fees were to double for a number of shocking reasons.
News that the already beleaguered Irish motorist is to face yet another price increase, as toll operator eFlow announced the doubling of its motorway charges on Dublin’s orbital M50 motorway, has sent shock waves throughout the country’s commuter and haulage groups.
Motorists are reasonably reeling from the latest reports that the M50 toll fees are to double in price for a number of reasons, including keeping up with inflation elsewhere.
Announcement – drivers left reeling
The unexpected increase in M50 toll fees was announced at a press conference held at the company’s head office in Swords, County Dublin.
Eflow said that the need for a price increase was brought about by multiple factors outside of their control.
Blaming the Ukraine conflict on the difficulty in sourcing maintenance supplies, eFlow’s Chief Operations manager Cyril Smyth told reporters, “We’re finding it impossible to source Cat’s Eyes – the retroreflective safety device used as centre carriageway markings. We used to source these quite cheaply in Ukraine, but that supply has dried up.”
“Irish cat’s eyes are frankly not good enough, and animal-rights groups are totally opposed to their use,” he complained.
He added that the company are now forced to import more expensive cat’s eyes from China, where “they’re not so uptight.”
Solidarity – Ukraine colours on the carriageway
Smyth also cited the company’s plans to show solidarity with the people of Ukraine as a further factor in increased costs.
He explained, “We intend to highlight the Ukraine colours on all our carriageway markings. We’re OK with the yellow, but to be honest, it’s going to cost a fortune to paint all the white lines blue.”
He then added, “It was grand in the days when we had the cheap Polish lads to do the painting, but most of them have gone home.”
New Working Habits – work from home
The change in Irish working habits brought about by the Covid pandemic was cited as a third justification for the plan for the M50 toll fees to double.
As more employees are working from home, commuter usage of the motorway has declined, bringing about a loss in revenue for eFlow.
Smyth explained, “Our market research tells us that 80% of Dublin commuters would rather work from home than spend up to three hours a day more or less stationary at an M50 junction.”
While acknowledging eFlow’s toll increases last January, Smyth defended the April doubling of tolls.
“It’s not like nobody else is doing it. I mean, if everyone is putting up their prices, why shouldn’t we? It’s just sound fiscal practice if you think you can get away with it.”
Leaks – pesky temps
Smyth said of the news getting out about the M50 toll fees, “Seriously, lads,” he told the reporters, “We honestly thought we could slip this one past the public without any song and dance, so we did.”
He goes on, “That is until some temp clerical officer pressed ‘send to all’ on the confidential internal memo. Jaysus wept!”, he exclaimed.
“Anyway, what’s done is done,” he continued. “There’s really nothing anyone can do about it – it’s not like the commuter can use another motorway, is it? The cosy deal we got from the government made sure of that.”
The press conference ended with Smyth flying back to the city in the company helicopter, leaving the media to deal with the M50 tailbacks.
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