We have the inside story on one of the hundreds of Irish holidaymakers affected by the Thomas Cook collapse.
Until its collapse, last Monday Thomas Cook was the world’s oldest travel firm.
The sudden collapse has lead to a situation resulting in 600,000-holidaymakers been stranded abroad — hundreds of which are Irish.
The Thomas Cook Company operated more than ten flights from Belfast each week and it is believed that many holidaymakers from both the Republic and Northern Ireland are affected.
The firm also operated several hotels and resorts around the world and it is believed that guests at these resorts are also affected.
The Irish Travel Agents Association (ITAA) told us that they believe that more than one-hundred Irish holidaymakers are stranded abroad.
A spokesperson for the ITAA said “this situation has prompted an unprecedented move to repatriate those stranded abroad.
The Ordinary Stranded Paddy
To chronicle the effect of the collapse on one of ‘the ordinary stranded holidaymakers’ we spoke via Skype to John Joe O’Neill.
John Joe is a twenty-seven-year-old Ballymun apprentice plumber who is stranded in the Thomas Cook resort of CoCo Coco on the Caribbean island of Cuba.
“Ah Jaysus, it’s all grand, don’t worry.” John Joe told us. “To be honest, I was dreading looking going back to Dublin. Jaysus I hate the fecking rain and cold and I have a rake of messy jobs outstanding, ones I just didn’t get around to finishing before I left.
“By the way, could you tell Mrs O’Brien of 40 Sycamore Drive Coolock that I’ll be straight over when I get back? Jaysus that leak in her storage tank won’t fix itself.” He added.
Excited and Delighted
John Joe told us that he and his girlfriend Cynthia — a trainee hairdresser also from Ballymun — were on the second last day of their all-inclusive holiday when news of the collapse broke.
“We were fairly thrilled.” He said. “We were dreading going back to the fecking weather and to be honest Cynthia can’t stand her new boss. You can’t get enough of this lazing around by the pool drinking pina colada thing.
“I’m developing a fondness for it.” He told us over what was a very good Skype connection.
By The Pool
At this stage, the Skype call had to be interrupted while John Joe rubbed some more suntan lotion on Cynthia’s back and ordered two more cocktails from the pool bar.
When we reconnected John Joe told us. “The staff here at the resort are bloody fantastic.” He said. “Seemingly they have been paid upfront and in advance for the next batch of holidaymakers who are stranded in the UK — so we are kind off using their credit if you know what I mean! It’s not costing us a bob. Anyway it’s not our problem, is it?”
“We were dreading going back to Ireland tomorrow.” John Joe stated. “But I suppose we’re going to be stuck here for the foreseeable, thank God — be sure to pass on that message about Mrs O’Brien’s water tank.” He added before disconnecting as it was time for the daily Wet Tee-Shirt competition.
MeanwhileinIreland news understands that the British government is continuing with repatriation plans. But considering the mess they made of the Brexit plans, we really don’t expect John Joe or Cynthia to be back in Ireland anytime before Christmas which is great news for John Joe and Cynthia who seem to be having a ball.
Editor’s note: Mrs O’Brien, John Joe left the mop and bucket in the cubby hole under the stairs.
Disclaimer
This article is satire. Articles in this section are spoof articles which should not be taken as the truth, nor are they are intended to offend. However, if you are offended, please inform us formally via a letter. You can ensure it gets to us by placing it in the nearest recycling bin.
