Paddy The Pintman Goes to Las Vegas

The next chapter of Paddy The Pintman, sees Paddy end up in Vegas…

There was great excitement around the small West Kerry village of Ballygereen the day the news broke.

Paddy the Pintman the young forty-five-year-old twice runner up in the villages Most Eligible Batchelor Competition, had won himself a free trip for two to Las Vegas in the States.

Never outside the Village

Most of the villagers had never been further than Listowel, in fact, a large percentage of the population had never set foot outside Ballygereen — to be honest, they simply didn’t see the point. Like Paddy, they had everything they needed right there in Ballygereen, County Kerry.

The news of Paddy’s win broke that night in O’Sullivan’s Lounge Bar when Paddy told Seamus Murphy his news.

Internetty Thingy

“Jaysus Seamus there I was checking the auld internetty thing when I got one of them email yokes telling me I had won a free trip for me and someone else to a casino place in Las Vegas — that’s in the States, so it is,” Paddy explained. “And all I has to do is visit some time-share yoke. So I says to the mammy, ‘get up them stairs Ma we’re off to America.’ Jaysus she was thrilled, God bless her.”

The winner takes it all

It transpired that Paddy’s number had come up as a winner on some site or other and a week later Paddy found himself with the mammy in a fancy and swanky Las Vegas casino hotel.

Paddy’s first morning was grand. He settled the mammy down by the pool with a decent book and a big long drink thingy with an umbrella sticking up out of it. While he himself took to the Casumo Casino to as he put it “chance his arm at the slot machines.”

We’re not in Ballybunnion now Mammy

Paddy, to be honest, didn’t know much about casinos or gambling. Although once when he was a child the mammy took him to Ballybunion and he won ten-bob on the slot machines. Paddy reckoned it couldn’t be that much different.

So in Paddy trots to the casino, dressed to kill he was. Wearing the only suit he owned, a decent black jacket and a bowtie that his uncle Billy had given him four Christmases ago.

Hi I’m Cindy

“Hello my name is Cindy, what’s yours and what can I get you to drink?” Asked Cindy a very attractive blonde cocktail waitress with a big smile on her face sort of purring into Paddy’s left ear.

“Well how-ya Cindy,” answered the bold Paddy. “Me name is Pintman that’s Paddy the Pintman,” Paddy replied. “And I’ll have a pint of Guinness shaken not stirred,” Paddy said beginning to lose the run of himself after watching too many Jimmy Bond movies back in the nineties.

The Casino

Well to make a long story short, Paddy spent the day playing every game the Casino had on offer: roulette, slots, craps, and even the odd bit of black-jack. Cindy kept him Paddy’s morale high and he kept winning as a result.

At one stage Paddy was up about ten-thousand dollars and he decided to go double or quits on one last roll of the dice. Cindy at this stage was busy collecting Paddy’s mammy from the pool where she had dozed all day and was kindly putting her to bed for the night.

To be honest, again, she had developed a bit of a soft spot for Paddy, and Paddy’s mammy had taken to her in a big way.

Paddy waited for Cindy to come back and blow a kiss on the dice before he rolled them. He said a quick prayer to Saint Anthony and flung them down the table.

Well, you could have heard a pin drop as Paddy’s dices turned up as two great big sixes and Paddy had won big time.

There was excitement all around the casino, bells ringing, people cheering and the best thing of the lot — at least as far as Paddy was concerned — was that Cindy gave him a fantastic great big kiss on the mouth.

Still Lucky

Anyway, that wasn’t the end of Paddy’s luck that week. Himself and Cindy sort of hit it off and spent the rest of the week more or less hand in hand and very much in love.

Paddy the mammy and Cindy have returned to Ballygereen. Cindy is looking after the mammy and cooking and cleaning for Paddy and he still spends every evening spending his winnings drinking pints in O’Sullivans.