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You are at:Home » News » Craic » Donald Trump To Help Build Wall Around Donegal
Craic Satire

Donald Trump To Help Build Wall Around Donegal

Gerald LeinsterBy Gerald LeinsterMay 17, 2019No Comments3 Mins Read
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News That American President Donald Trump is behind plans to build a wall in County Donegal are emanating from Washington DC since late yesterday afternoon.

At yesterday’s scheduled White House press briefing, Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders told correspondents “Yes I can confirm that President Trump will go ahead with his plans to build a wall around Donegal.”

Trump’s US-Mexico Wall

The Trump wall, also known as the wall, is a proposed expansion of the Mexico–United States barrier during the presidency of Donald Trump.

Throughout his 2016 presidential campaign, Donald Trump called for the construction of a much larger border wall, claiming that if elected, he would “build the wall and make Mexico pay for it.”

At the time, President of Mexico Enrique Peña Nieto stated that his country would not pay for the wall.

However, this wall is facing problems and it is believed his frustrations for the opposition he has faced to build the American wall, he has turned his eyes to Donegal.

Inspiration

“The President was taken aback by the Goat’s Don’t Shave Irish folk hit song Las Vegas in The Hills of Donegal,” she continued.

“The President was disappointed at some of the furious criticism levelled at his Executive Order 13767 in connection with his plans to build the Mexican wall. He took his first hearing of the song as a sign from God to continue.”

Inspirational lyrics

“And if I could I’d build a wall around old Donegal

The north and south to keep them out, by God I’d build it tall

Playboy clubs, all night pubs, blackjack and roulette

Neil Blaney, Bridget Neilsen, Mike Tyson having a bet

Innishowen could then be known for its multimillionaires

Where Donald Trump would like a chunk to live in solitaire.”

The Plan

Initial designs have been finalised showing a tall wall stretching from Muff County Donegal through Strabane and onto Belleek on the Sligo border.M

“President Trump has received detailed briefings on the area and is particularly attracted to Muff — the village.” she clarified.

It is believed that Funding for the Wall will come from EU Post-Brexit Restructural Funds and not be a direct drain on either American or Irish exchequers. “Brussels can well afford it,” Ms Sanders added.

It is hoped that the wall will act as a deterrent to cross-border smuggling, the annual exodus of northerners every 12 of July and cut down on boy-racers avoiding both the Garda and PSNI.

Reactions

Party spokespersons for both the DUP and Sinn Fein have welcomed the idea but for totally different reasons. 

Listen to the original song Trump took inspiration from:

Disclaimer

This article is satire. Articles in this section are spoof articles which should not be taken as the truth, nor are they are intended to offend. However, if you are offended, please inform us formally via a letter. You can ensure it gets to us by placing it in the nearest recycling bin.

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Gerald Leinster
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Gerald Leinster is one of Ireland's most noteworthy journalists, columnists and commentator on Irish and international issues. Often accused of being more right-wing than Genghis Khan whom he admires greatly, Gerald is an Oxbridge graduate. He has authored many best-selling books including the recent ' The Margaret Thatcher I knew and Loved' and his previous bestseller 'Reagan, Bush, and Trump -- Gods of Their Time.' In his spare time, you might find Gerald relaxing on a golf course in Kildare, watching International rugby or dining out in Dublin's more fashionable restaurants. Although he strives for a professional journalistic apolitical stance, he feels strongly about the reunification of Ireland and the UK. He also holds membership of both Fine Gael and Fianna Fail.

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