Statisticians at the popular adult site Porn Hub has released its annual list for the ‘Most Viewed Video’ from each nation in the world. 99% of countries surveyed revealed that their citizens favoured regular and traditional porn videos and it was these that ranked highly on their list.
However, in a spectacular case, Porn Hub has revealed that the most watched video from Ireland was Robbie Keane’s iconic late equalizer against Germany in the 2002 World Cup, beating off even Kim Kardashian and co.
The goal
Keane’s goal against soccer heavyweights Germany is one that is etched deeply into the minds of all Irishmen and women. 91 minutes were on the clock and the Boys in Green were a goal down before the ball was fired into the German box.
Niall Quinn rose highest as he nodded the ball into the path of goalscoring maestro Robbie Keane. Keane tapped it through two German defenders before firing past Oliver Kahn. The Irish fans were sent into raptures.
A joke by McCarthy
The video was uploaded to the adult site as a joke by Mick McCarthy after he was re-appointed manager of the Irish soccer team two years ago but its viewing numbers soon rocketed.
Porn Hub revealed to Meanwhile in Ireland that the video has been viewed over 32 million times exclusively by people from Ireland, and a further 7 million times by people from Germany to let out any anger they have.
Mick McCarthy was cautioned by the Football Association of Ireland (FAI) for uploading the video but has since been offered a new 3-year contract after the video picked up the award. “This is a first award in many years for Irish soccer”, a source from the FAI said.
Why was it the most viewed?
When questioned as to why the site believed that this particular video topped the Irish list, Porn Hub was able to reel off a number of reasons why.
“First of all, people admired Mick McCarthy in his white shorts and that secured many thousands of views. Steve Finnan’s long range ball was intensely desired by many viewers for its firm direction.
“Of course, the header by Niall Quinn won over many, and Keane’s goal was simply the cake. His celebration was a hit with many and the search ‘Robbie Keane’s celebration’ was hit into our search bar countless times.”
The sound of the Irish crowd was regarded as “much more desirable” than the sound of “any other woman” and this sufficed for the Irish viewers who have flocked to the video in their millions.
Will it ever be topped?
Porn Hub was guarded when it was asked whether the video will ever be topped amongst Irish viewers. Shane Long’s goal against Germany in 2015 is ranked second but is still “several millions behind” in numbers.
Johnny Walters’ double against Bosnia in 2015 was tipped as a possible contender, as was Wes Holohan’s goal against Sweden in the 2016 Euros. However, Robbie Brady’s late winner versus Italy in the same competition is regarded as “most likely to become number one”.
Disclaimer
This article is satire. We do satire articles because it is great craic and Irish people love it! Articles in this section are spoof articles which should not be taken as the truth, nor are they are intended to offend.
