Irish Dads say many things which at the time may frustrate, but years later you will probably laugh at. You might even be able to have a laugh with your dad about his phrases over a beer! Below are some of the best divided into categories.
General Phrases:
- He’s thick as two short planks
- When I was your age…
- I’m on my way (talking on his mobile phone from the sofa)
- My nerves are shattered/wrecked
- I’m not going to tell you again
- Don’t talk back to your mother
- If someone told you to jump off a cliff/put your hand in a fire, would you!??
- They don’t make them like they used to
- Stop crying or I’ll give you something to cry about
- You’re not going out in that
- We were grateful to have an orange for Christmas
- Now, don’t go spending a lot on me
- A little hard work never hurt anybody
- Get out of bed you lazy git!
- You’ll understand when you’re older
- I’m Not Going To Tell You Again
- I’m not just talking to hear my own voice!
- You’re only young once.
- The early bird gets the worm. Rise and shine!
- You have things so easy!
- What do you think this is, your birthday?
- What part of NO don’t you understand?
- I don’t care what other dads let their kids do….I’m not everybody else’s dad!
- Two wrongs do not make a right.
- Don’t use that tone with me!
- Am I talking to a brick wall?
- If I catch you doing that one more time, I’ll…
- Enough is enough!
- Don’t make me stop the car!
- What did I just get finished telling you?
- My father used to tell me…
- Act your age
- Just wait until I get you home!
- Who said life was supposed to be fair?
- Always say please and thank you. That way, you get more.
- Shake it off. It’s only pain.
- Get up and let the grass grow!
- A little pain never hurt anybody.
- You’re always a winner if you lose with a smile.
- Four things come not back: time past, the spoken word, the sped arrow and a missed opportunity.
- You’ll realize the value of money once you start earning.
- Turn off those lights. Do you think I am made of money?
- What do you think I am… a bank?
- What am I doing? I’m just clearing my head/getting my head showered
- Get your elbows off the table.
- This is your last warning.
On Life:
- Who said life was supposed to be fair?
- Always say please and thank you. That way, you get more.
- If you forget, you’ll be grounded till the end of the world.
- Shake it off. It’s only pain.
- A little pain never hurt anybody.
- Don’t take yourself so seriously, take what you do seriously!
- You’re always a winner if you lose with a smile.
- Four things come not back: time past, the spoken word, the sped arrow and a missed opportunity.
- Life is a journey and you’ve just reached one of many speed bumps to come.
- If you want to do something, do it because you want to. Don’t do it because someone else did.
- As long as you tried your hardest, that’s all that matters.
- If ifs and buts were candy and nuts then we’d all have a merry Christmas.
- Don’t believe anything you hear and only half of what you see.
- If you’re gonna be dumb, you’ve gotta be tough.
- Worrying about things you can’t change is like a rocking chair… it gives you something to do, but it doesn’t get you anywhere.
- It’s hard to be good, and easy to be bad.
- Don’t tell on anybody unless you tell on yourself first.
- The first liar don’t stand a chance.
- Laugh at yourself first, you’ll take the bite out of others doing so for you.
On Money Control
- Do you think I’m made of money!!??
- Money doesn’t grow on trees!!
- You’ll realize the value of money once you start earning.
- Turn off those lights. Do you think I am made of money?
- What do you think I am, a bank?
On how much better than you he is:
- You didn’t beat me. I let you win.
- Now you listen to ME, Buster!
- I told you… Now see.
- I told you, keep your eye on the ball.
- This will hurt me a lot more than it hurts you.
- When I was your age, I treated MY father with respect.
- As long as you live under my roof, you’ll live by my rules.
- I’ll tell you why. Because I said so. That’s why.
- Do what I say, not what I do.
- I’m not sleeping, I was watching that channel.
- Any fights, I win!
- In MY day……
- When I was your age I had to walk to school in 10 feet of snow up hill both ways!
- Hurt much? I didn’t feel a thing.
- I’m not lost, it’s just over the next hill!
- When I was your age….
- That’s not a tear, I have something in my eye.
- I’m not watching television. I’m resting my eyes.
Advice for Boys
- Big boys don’t cry.
- Don’t worry. It’s only blood.
- You think you’re funny son? Well, you’re not one bit funny!
- Don’t you know any normal boys?
- You call that a haircut?
- “Hey” is for horses.
- You call that noise “music”?
- Sit up straight, knucklehead!
- So you think you’re smart, do you?
- What’s so funny?
- Wipe that smile off your face.
- If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times
- You want something to do? I’ll give you something to do.
- What keeps those jeans of yours from falling off?
- Eat it! It will grow hair on your chest!
- Husbands are a sorry lot.
- I love you, son!
- “Son, don’t ever get married. And tell that to your kids.”
Advice for Girls
- Don’t give me any of your lip, young lady.
- You’re not going out in that!
- Young ladies perspire, they do not sweat.
- I knew how to cook when I was your age, young lady!
- You’re not leaving my house dressed like that!
- Could your skirt be any shorter?
- You look like a big lady!
- Men are like buses. Just wait on the corner and another one will come along.
- You can marry a rich guy just as easily as you can a poor guy.
- You know you’re always gonna to be Daddy’s little girl…
Have we missed any? Comment below or send us a message!
