Close Menu
Meanwhile in IrelandMeanwhile in Ireland

    SUBSCRIBE TO OUR NEWSLETTER!

    What's Hot

    10 Irish Foods Tourists Can’t Handle

    February 26, 2026

    The Quiet Pint Trap: How 20 Minutes Turns Into 4 am

    February 26, 2026

    The Most Irish Response To Being Told the Bar Is Closing

    February 22, 2026
    Facebook X (Twitter) Instagram
    Meanwhile in IrelandMeanwhile in Ireland
    • Home
    • News
    • Craic
    • Sports
    • More
      • All-Time Top Articles
      • Culture
      • Dublin
      • Funny
      • Irish People
      • Interesting News
      • Satire
      • The Drink!
      • Travel
      • TV and Movies
      • Viral
    • Shop
    Facebook YouTube Instagram TikTok
    Meanwhile in IrelandMeanwhile in Ireland
    You are at:Home » News » Craic » 16 year old claims his 1,896 Facebook friends are ‘real friends’
    Craic Satire

    16 year old claims his 1,896 Facebook friends are ‘real friends’

    Meanwhile in Ireland TeamBy Meanwhile in Ireland TeamDecember 2, 2019No Comments3 Mins Read
    Facebook Twitter WhatsApp Pinterest LinkedIn Tumblr Email
    Share:
    Facebook Twitter WhatsApp Pinterest Email

    Reports have resurfaced regarding the claims of a young teenager from the capital that his Facebook friends are truly his only “real friends” as opposed to those people he knows in person.

    In terrifying testimony picked up by Meanwhile in Ireland late last night, Cathal Jones from Swords in County Dublin reiterated his claims only weeks after they were previously debunked by a Gardaí fact-finding team.

    Parents concern

    Mr. Jones has been a Facebook user for almost two years now, and has accumulated an alarming 1,896 friends that he purports to call his “real friends”.

    This is despite the fact that Mr. Jones hasn’t met any of these characters in real life, while he has engaged with actual people on a daily basis.

    Jones’ parents have expressed their deep concern at the escalating situation, professing to local media that they have been unable to control the proliferation in added friends and corresponding friend requests, and that their efforts to persuade him otherwise have fallen on deaf ears.

    “It’s out of control,” warned his father. “His poor mother can’t sleep at night thinking about what this is doing to him.

    “He tells us he has no friends in real life. We’ve told him that can’t be possible, that he has friends in school. He just looks blankly and tells us all his real friends are on his phone.”

    Previous claim

    Unsurprisingly, this is not the first time that Cathal Jones has peddled such extremist views. As early as April of this year, Jones was questioned over claims he had “1,000 real friends”.

    Gardaí investigators let the youngster go without any real scrutiny, passing the issue off as “absolutely awful parenting” and claiming Jones “needed a good boot up the arse and be told to wise up, that’ll do it.”

    However, despite confirmation from neighbours of the Jones’ family that the stipulated boots up the arse took place on a biweekly basis at the very least, young Cathal Jones’ claims have reared their ugly head once more.

    The new claim

    The new and refreshed claim materialised after Mr. Jones received a major boost with an increase in 896 friends over a five month period. The teenager took to Facebook to express why he felt like he was compelled to come forward once more.

    “After my forced silence the last time, I feel like I have to come forward and speak again. My 1,896 friends are my real friends. Each and every one of them. I don’t care what my ma and da say, they’re real!”

    Renewed Gardaí investigation

    Head of the Gardaí Social Media Investigating Team, Richard Mulcahy, has told Meanwhile in Ireland that they are “ramping up” their efforts to debunk these new claims by enlisting the help Dr Fiona Burke, clinical psychology professor at Dublin City University (DCU).

    The psychologist is to examine Mr. Jones weekly in an attempt to break down his strongly held beliefs that the text messages between him and strangers on Messenger confers real friendship upon him.

    Dr. Burke confessed to Meanwhile in Ireland off the record that there will be “absolutely nothing at all I can do” about the situation.

    She cited studies which show young people nation-wide are now more likely to speak more with Facebook ‘friends’ than they do people in real life.

    Disclaimer

    This article is satire. Articles in this section are spoof articles which should not be taken as the truth, nor are they are intended to offend. However, if you are offended, please inform us formally via a letter. You can ensure it gets to us by placing it in the nearest recycling bin.

    Share. Facebook Twitter WhatsApp Pinterest LinkedIn Tumblr Email
    Avatar photo
    Meanwhile in Ireland Team

    The Meanwhile in Ireland team is dedicated to bringing you the best in Irish humour, news, and viral content. Since our launch in 2014, we’ve amassed over 900,000 social media followers and hundreds of thousands of annual readers. Our mission is to entertain with our trademark dry Irish humour, satire, and sarcasm while also sharing Ireland’s unique culture and current affairs. Our writers, all native or long-time residents of Ireland, deliver authentic, high-quality articles recognised by award organisations in Ireland and the UK. Enjoy the craic!

    Related Posts

    The Quiet Pint Trap: How 20 Minutes Turns Into 4 am

    By Elizabeth MarcusFebruary 26, 2026

    “I’m Grand”: What Irish People Actually Mean

    By Charlotte DumontFebruary 22, 2026

    Why the Irish Goodbye Is the Most Respectful Exit

    By Juliane NeumannFebruary 18, 2026

    Why Irish People Are STILL Obsessed With Rain

    By Meanwhile in Ireland TeamFebruary 5, 2026
    Our Official Sponsor
    Latest Articles

    10 Irish Foods Tourists Can’t Handle

    February 26, 2026

    The Quiet Pint Trap: How 20 Minutes Turns Into 4 am

    February 26, 2026

    The Most Irish Response To Being Told the Bar Is Closing

    February 22, 2026

    The Real Reason Why Ireland Has Suddenly Become Hollywood’s Favourite Filming Location

    February 22, 2026
    SUBSCRIBE TO OUR NEWSLETTER!
      Thank you for Signing Up
    Please correct the marked field(s) below.
    1,true,6,Contact Email,2 1,false,1,First Name,2 1,false,1,Last Name,2
    Stay In Touch
    • Facebook
    • Twitter
    • Instagram
    • TikTok
    Don't Miss

    Man discovers wife is magician after she turns into her own mother

    By Gerald LeinsterFebruary 28, 2020

    A Cork City man has been left astounded that his wife of twenty two years…

    10 tips for buying a house in Dublin before retirement

    October 24, 2022

    Classic Joke: an Englishman, Scotsman and an Irishman are in France during World War II

    June 4, 2016

    5 countries that surprisingly celebrate St. Patrick’s Day

    April 9, 2021

    We specialise in Bizarre Irish News, Viral Videos and general Irish Craic.

    • Home
    • About us
    • Contact us
    • Team
    • Work for us
    • Terms of use
    • Privacy policy
    • Disclaimer
    • Copyright
    • Shop
    Follow us

    Connect with us on your favourite social media app.

    Facebook Twitter Instagram Youtube TikTok
    Contact us

    19 Arthur St, Belfast, Northern Ireland, BT1 4GA.

    [email protected]
    SUBSCRIBE TO OUR NEWSLETTER!
      Thank you for Signing Up
    Please correct the marked field(s) below.
    1,true,6,Contact Email,2 1,false,1,First Name,2 1,false,1,Last Name,2
    ©Copyright 2019 - Meanwhile in Ireland | Trading under Emerald Green Media

    Type above and press Enter to search. Press Esc to cancel.