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You are at:Home » News » Craic » “Swinging has strengthened our marriage,” says happy Waterford couple
Craic Satire

“Swinging has strengthened our marriage,” says happy Waterford couple

Gerald LeinsterBy Gerald LeinsterDecember 20, 2019No Comments3 Mins Read
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A Waterford City couple have shocked family, neighbours and friends by admitting that having casual sex with other couples has strengthened their marriage.

John and Nuala Power, who are both in their early thirties, made the admission at a recent retirement party held for Nuala’s father Timmy.

‘It’s absolutely fantastic’

Speaking to her friends after downing her sixth gin and tonic, Nuala said; “It’s absolutely fantastic. It has done wonders for our marriage,” she slurred while adjusting her very low cut dress.

“It has left us both fulfilled physically and has given us more space to talk as a couple plus we’ve met some really-really-nice other couples.

“I’ve even swapped recipes with some of the women John has slept with. And he has borrowed a skill-saw from the lad I was with last Tuesday.”

Husband equally enthusiastic

John was equally enthusiastic. “Like, to be honest,” he said, “Nuala is grand but it does get that bit boring having it off with the same woman night after night, week after week for the past ten years.

“I was thrilled when she came across the local Waterford swinger’s site on Facebook and suggested we try it. I couldn’t believe my luck.”

Marriage strengthened

Credit: Richard foster / Flickr

“It has brought us closer together. Now, don’t bother with sex when the kids have finished their homework and are asleep; we can just go to bed, read, relax, chat and fall asleep,” Nuala said.

“We don’t need to go through the nightly routine of pretending to enjoy each other physically. Anyway, I much prefer a good book — I’m just finishing 50 Shades at the moment.”

Waterford Swingers Club explained

After Nuala made the announcement, John, after making his way to the bar, explained to other friends how the Waterford Swingers Club operated.

adult business group house indoors meeting men people remote work room side view sitting team teamwork togetherness women work

“It’s really quite simple; about seven or eight couples meet up twice a week, we take it in turns to go to each other’s houses. The women bring cakes and the lads take a few cans.

“Sometimes we watch a bit of a porn movie or Downton Abbey or even sometimes one of those David Attenborough documentaries. Then all the names are picked out of a hat and partners are chosen at random.

“Off to the bedrooms we go for an hour or two. Although if it’s one of the smaller houses, some couples have to double up and share a bed. Anyway, it’s all good clean fun,” he concluded candidly. 

The social gatherings

Nuala continued to astound her friends, and by this stage her mother-in-law had passed out from the vodka and was ‘resting’ on the couch.

“It’s amazing who you’d meet at the gatherings — that’s what we like to call them,” she said. “Mary from the credit union along with her husband Mick are regulars.

Credit; Nan Palmero / Flickr

“Tony, who works in that new factory and his wife Joan always turn up. Ah, shur it’s great to catch up, have the chat and the bit of ‘the other’ twice a week. I’m a new woman since we joined,” she laughed.

Friends shocked again

As the conversation moved on to the upcoming senior league match between Waterford and Tipperary, Nuala once more shocked the group by casually asking could anyone recommend a shop in town that sold leather harnesses.  

Disclaimer

This article is satire. Articles in this section are spoof articles which should not be taken as the truth, nor are they are intended to offend. However, if you are offended, please inform us formally via a letter. You can ensure it gets to us by placing it in the nearest recycling bin.

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Gerald Leinster
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Gerald Leinster is one of Ireland's most noteworthy journalists, columnists and commentator on Irish and international issues. Often accused of being more right-wing than Genghis Khan whom he admires greatly, Gerald is an Oxbridge graduate. He has authored many best-selling books including the recent ' The Margaret Thatcher I knew and Loved' and his previous bestseller 'Reagan, Bush, and Trump -- Gods of Their Time.' In his spare time, you might find Gerald relaxing on a golf course in Kildare, watching International rugby or dining out in Dublin's more fashionable restaurants. Although he strives for a professional journalistic apolitical stance, he feels strongly about the reunification of Ireland and the UK. He also holds membership of both Fine Gael and Fianna Fail.

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