A man from Carlow has claimed that Jesus appeared to him at a Supermac’s drive-thru in County Carlow.
Thomas Fisherman (29) of Tullow Street, Carlow has claimed that the Lord Jesus Christ appeared and spoke to him at a takeaway drive-through window at a fast food outlet in Carlow Town.
Gardaí say that major traffic diversions have been put in place as thousands flock to the scene of the apparition.
Extra bus and rail services have been laid on to cater for the crowds expected to visit the site over the coming days.
News broke this morning as RTE’s flagship program Morning Ireland broadcast an interview with Fisherman.
RTE have suspended regular scheduling to broadcast 24hr coverage of the unfolding developments at the scene.
During the interview, McDonagh, who is currently on a Job Search scheme, recounted the strange events of the night before.
“I had just driven up to the window,” he said. “When suddenly the car was filled with a tremendously bright and pulsating light and I could hear a choir singing Hallelujah. It was fecking awesome!” he continued.
White Robe
“This guy dressed in a sort of a white robe thingy appeared at the window and said ‘seek and you shall find,’ so I ordered a cheeseburger, chips and a diet coke.
“He sort-of just looked at me and said ‘today you shall be with me in Paradise.’
“To be honest, Supermacs are good but you’d hardly call them fecking Paradise,” Fisherman stressed.
MeanwhileinIreland News has viewed CCTV footage of the restaurants’ interior which seems to substantiate Fisherman’s claim.
The images show a group of twelve similarly dressed men sitting around a table and drinking from a goblet.
Love one another
“While I was waiting for me burger, your-man walks back to the lads at the table and told them to ‘take this bread and eat it then take this diet coke and drink it.’ I was stunned.” Fisherman said.
“Then he told them to love one another as he had loved them. Seriously, that bit was fairly moving!” Fisherman later told reporters.
International Media coverage
International press and media coverage of the Carlow apparition has been completely overshadowing coverage of both the European elections and Tory leadership battle.
A long-time reporter with the Carlow Chronicle Jimmy Purcell told other journalists “it’s the biggest thing to hit Carlow since those three-king fellows rode in on donkeys that Christmas morning about thirty-three-years ago. Strange that was!”
Vatican Response
The Vatican has refused to comment officially. However, one source close to the Pope has said:
“we have no reason to doubt the word of a Carlow man, especially one on Jobseekers allowance.”
Cardinal Gerhard Müller, the former prefect of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, is believed to be travelling from Rome to Carlow today at the behest of the Pope.
Disclaimer
This article is satire. We do satire articles because it is great craic and Irish people love it! Articles in this section are spoof articles which should not be taken as the truth, nor are they are intended to offend.
