Anyone who grew up with an Irish mammy will recognise these sometimes terrifying, but mostly dramatic sayings.
Irish mothers have a language all of their own, especially in everyday situations, and these are the ones most likely to wind your mam up.
Some of these sharp one-liners or religious phrases might make little sense to those who didn’t grow up in an Irish household. But here’s a little breakdown of some of the most dramatic things Irish mammies say.
10. Who turned on the immersion? – god help you
Jesus, why did you mess this up? This is the one that will enrage every mother on this island! You do not turn on the immersion and forget about it. Ever. Be prepared for number seven. This is an Irish mammy’s favourite expression, even in winter.
9. Say a prayer to St. Anthony – what’s lost will return
Lost your glasses? Or perhaps your car keys? Say a quick prayer to St. Anthony and in no time at all you will find that remote control. Repeat the prayer every 4 – 6 hours if necessary to secure your goods.
8. Were you born in a field? – never leave the door open
Did you leave the room and have the gall to leave the door wide open?
Well, my friend, this one will go down like a lead balloon. Irish mothers do not want an ounce of warm air leaving a room and making it cold in the house. Do not leave a room open unless you have been asked.
7. I’ll give ya a good kick up the hole! – rage mammy
Enter Rage Mammy. You have definitely defied her if this was her response. Don’t take any chances and immediately depart from wherever your mother is and stay out of her way until she comes looking for you to offer a cup of tea.
Things that will cause a good kick up the hole? Turning on the immersion.
6. Light a candle at mass – when things aren’t going your way
There are many mothers right now lighting candles throughout churches across Ireland. They seriously believe lighting these little candles will solve all the world’s problems. When things aren’t going your way, get someone’s mammy to light a candle for ya.
5. You’ll catch piles sitting there! – anti-loitering mammy
Ah the dreaded line to every loitering teenager back in the day, whether it’s a wall or the steps outside the shops, you are almost guaranteed to hear this warning.
Sometimes it wasn’t even your own mammy, it’s just another mammy passing by letting you know about this supposed medical condition.
4. Do ya think I’m made of money? – don’t even ask
You asked for a fiver on a Tuesday. Not acceptable practice. Where do you think it’s coming from – your trust fund? (Hilarious Derry Girls moment reference) She is not going to give in. I guarantee it. Offer to do a chore instead or ask your dad.
3. Stop the lights! – utter disbelief
Now the real drama has unfolded. When this phrase is used, it signals utter disbelief. Something juicy is going on but don’t be nosey trying to listen in to the conversation.
2. You know your man – vague mammy
No, I don’t know your man and that’s exactly how you want it. This is an Irish mothers way of being vague. She does not want you to know and if she did she would use the person’s full name and where they’re from.
1. That was donkey’s years ago – a wide range
See with this one; the range is anything from five to twenty-five years ago. So no one knows. It’s never been measured. Historically we were afraid to ask for an explanation so when a mammy says donkey’s years ago it could even be BC or AD.
Now, we know what you must be thinking, these sayings are indeed dramatic, but for many Irish people this was completely normal language. Irish mothers have always had a poetic way of turning everyday language and situations into memorable warnings and punchy one-liners.
Even now, years later, most of us can still hear them clearly, especially when we forget to turn off the immersion.
