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    You are at:Home » News » Craic » Harry and Megan spotted working at well known Limerick chipper
    Craic Satire

    Harry and Megan spotted working at well known Limerick chipper

    Gerald LeinsterBy Gerald LeinsterJanuary 10, 2020No Comments3 Mins Read
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    The Duke and Duchess of Sussex are reported to have taken up employment at a well known Limerick chipper after revealing to the public their desire to become ‘financially independent’.

    Media outlets across the world are said to be in frenzy this morning as news desks are flooded with reports that both the Duke Prince Harry and Duchess Megan have taken up employment at the famous Limerick chipper Donkey Fords.

    The Duke and Duchess announced this week that they were stepping back from official royal duties and hoped to lead independent financial lives.

    Donkey’s refuse to confirm Royal employment

    A spokesperson for Donkey Ford’s chipper located in John’s Street, Limerick refused to confirm that the Duke and Duchess were sharing shifts at the notorious Limerick fast food outlet.

    Frank Corr, Human resources manager and short-order cook at Donkey Fords, told reporters “I refuse to either confirm or deny the rumours; here at Donkey Fords we respect our staff’s privacy.

    “We’re sort of like the French Foreign Legion. It don’t matter to us what someone done in the past even if they has a dodgy family history. As long as they does what they’re supposed to do we don’t give a sh**e.

    “All I can tell you is that this young ginger-haired lad with a real posh accent came in yesterday looking for a job for himself and his missus.”

    A bit of Afghan experience

    Credit: www.afspc.af.mil

    Mr Corr, growing exasperated, then turned to the BBC crew and saying “I’m fecking telling ya if you don’t move away from that fecking door I’ll fecking bust ya!”

    “Anyway,” Mr Corr went on, “the ginger-haired lad told me he had served in Afghanistan and as sure as Jaysus it can get sort of rough around Donkeys on a weekend night when the pubs close.

    “So having the bit of Afghanistan War experience will be handy. Anyway, your-wan the Duchess Bird has a nice arse on her,” said Mr Corr, who is known for appreciating a bit of a classy woman.

    Housing List

    Credit: www.commons.wikimedia.org

    Rumours are circulating around Limerick that Harry and Megan are renting a one bedroom flat in John’s Gate while waiting for an appointment with Council staff to get on the Housing List.

    Willie O’Dea TD has also confirmed to us at Meanwhile in Ireland that he has been approached by the couple to “see if I could pull a few strings.”

    What’s a Catholic?

    “They seem a very nice couple,” was one reaction from a local off-licence owner who didn’t want to be named ‘cos his brother hopes to run for Sinn Fein in the next local elections and it wouldn’t do to be heard saying anything nice about the Brits.

    Credit: www.publicdomainpictures.net

    “They came in here last night to buy a few cans to take home and to change an English fiver for change for the gas. Your-man the ginger-haired lad told me that that’s his granny’s picture on the fiver.”

    Our reporter at the scene overheard the Prince asking Donkey Ford how come the chipper was so busy selling fish and chips on a Friday. And when told that Catholic’s traditionally eat fish on Friday’s then asked: “What’s a Catholic?”

    News Just In

    As we go to press, we have just received word that the couple has been given a house by the Corpo close to John’s square. And that Frank Corr of Donkey Fords eventually lost his patience with the BBC film crew and took a baseball bat to them.

    Disclaimer

    This article is satire. Articles in this section are spoof articles which should not be taken as the truth, nor are they are intended to offend. However, if you are offended, please inform us formally via a letter. You can ensure it gets to us by placing it in the nearest recycling bin.

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    Gerald Leinster
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    Gerald Leinster is one of Ireland's most noteworthy journalists, columnists and commentator on Irish and international issues. Often accused of being more right-wing than Genghis Khan whom he admires greatly, Gerald is an Oxbridge graduate. He has authored many best-selling books including the recent ' The Margaret Thatcher I knew and Loved' and his previous bestseller 'Reagan, Bush, and Trump -- Gods of Their Time.' In his spare time, you might find Gerald relaxing on a golf course in Kildare, watching International rugby or dining out in Dublin's more fashionable restaurants. Although he strives for a professional journalistic apolitical stance, he feels strongly about the reunification of Ireland and the UK. He also holds membership of both Fine Gael and Fianna Fail.

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