A group of middle-aged former hippies have launched a campaign which is aimed at ending what they see as the stigma attached to those who have caught the Coronavirus, the deadly disease that is sweeping the earth.
The campaign was launched at the Temple Bar Former Hippy Coffee Morning at Smokey Joe’s Deli in Temple Bar, Dublin yesterday morning.
Former Hippy Coffee Club
The Temple Bar Former Hippy Coffee Club is a longstanding social club for those who were practising Hippies during the seventies and eighties. Coffee mornings and other social events are held regularly and wheelchair access is available.
Speaking at the launch of the campaign, Rose Petal O’ Shea (74), Chairwoman of the group, told reporters; “Ok man, we might be a bit passed our prime but we still have the ability to organise and make people come together.
“Never forget we were the people who ended the war in Vietnam, introduced free-love, and made the Rolling Stones what they are today,” she said through a cloud of suspicious smelling smoke. “Power to the people man, and power to those who have been struck down with the Coronavirus. Right on, man.”
Hard to self-isolate
M/S Rose Petal went on to say; “Back in the day, man, we in the Hippy community were victims of the Man’s stigma, just because many of us had AIDs. Free-love doesn’t come cheap you know. So we know what it’s like to carry a stigma.
“Now the government are advising the people to self-isolate. That’s simply not o, man. Most of us still live in communes and it’s bloody difficult to self-isolate when you’re sleeping four or five to a bed. Yeah right on, sister!”
Symptoms ‘akin’ to being stoned
“Anyway, how do you know you’ve caught the Corona?” she asked. “Me and my fellow Flower People are always sniffling with runny noses, have chesty coughs and most of the time are so dizzy we don’t know where we are. But that’s normally due to the weed, drink, drugs and listening to the Mamas and Papas too loud.”
M/s Rose Petal went on to plead with the media to get her message out to the masses. “We are organising a Hug a Victim Day’’ outside Leinster House tomorrow. We’ll announce the time when and if we wake up, but we want everyone to carry a daffodil and simply hug each other.”
Loudest sneeze competition
At this stage, the press conference was interrupted when a member of the group, believed to be a male member (it was difficult to determine his/her gender) of M/S Rose Petal’s commune and who had recently returned from China via Northern Italy, began a ‘who has the loudest sneeze competition.’
He was forcefully removed from the cafe by a couple of beefy Polish security guards who don’t mind what they do or who they work for as long as the money is good.
Café raided
As we go to press we understand that Smokey Joe’s cafe was raided by both the Health Authority and the Garda Drug Squad. M/s Rose Petal and her friends were then wrapped in cling-film and sent for full-body lamination.
Disclaimer
This article is satire. We do satire articles because it is great craic and Irish people love it! Articles in this section are spoof articles which should not be taken as the truth, nor are they are intended to offend.
