The historic statue commemorating trade unionist James Larkin is to be replaced by a new statue honouring Pope Benedict XVI in the heart of Dublin’s O’Connell Street.
Dublin City’s Cultural Sub-Committee announced the new plans at a specially convened meeting presided over by Fine Gael Councillor James O’Keefe in City Hall last night.
Speaking to the press after the meeting, O’Keeke said; “It was almost a unanimous decision. Both the Fianna Fail and Fine Gael councillors voted for the proposal with only two of the lefty shower voting against. But that’s bloody typical of them!”
Dead is dead
“Yeah, we acknowledge that Larkin was a great man, responsible for the Dublin Lock-Out and all that stuff. And yeah, he played his part in 1916.
“But that’s all old news — dead is dead, no amount of statues will bring him back,” the councillor stated in a typical Fine Gael manner.
“No, it’s time we honoured the living and who better to honour than an ex-Pope. I mean, seriously, there’s not many of them around anymore,” O’Keefe said.
“Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI did a lot for Ireland.” O’Keefe continued. “Like in all fairness, he never visited here, unlike all the other Popes who came over at the drop of a hat.
“I mean, have you seen the bills for all them Papal visits? They’re massive!” the councillor exclaimed. “No, we owe him big time for not visiting.”
The visit of Pope Benedict
“But talking about Papal Visits,” the councillor went on. “Wouldn’t it be great if we got him to come over for the unveiling of the statue? It wouldn’t cost much.
“Like, it’s not as if he’s the real Pope or anything, there’d be no massive security costs, Pope mobiles or that sort of stuff. And he’d be bound to draw a big crowd. We’d make a fortune on selling cans and sandwiches,” O’Keefe mused with a glint in his eye.
The ‘lefty’ press
Some members of the ‘lefty’ press tried to embarrass O’Keefe by asking awkward questions but, in fairness to him, the councillor played a blinder when responding.
“No, I don’t think people will mind removing Larkin’s statue. It’s not as if anyone remembers who or what Larkin stood for,” he replied to one journalist who dared to pose a question.
Replacing like for like
“Come to think of it,” he added, “it’s not as if anyone really remembers who or what Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI did either. So in a way we are just replacing like with like.”
O’Keefe always ensured he was giving the former Pope his full title so as not to offend the large group of clergy in the audience in the hope that he could secure the priesthood vote.
Plans to commence construction
Meanwhile in Ireland understands that plans are afoot to commence construction on the new statue in Dublin’s main street just in time to disrupt Christmas shopping.
It is also believed that the existing statue of Larkin will be placed two-miles off Howth Head where it will serve as a navigation aid to shipping warning them to stay away from North Dublin.
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