The Texas town of Dripping Springs was in mourning today as news broke of the passing of Chuck Fargo.
Fargo was a leading member of the town’s Republican Party and organiser of the town’s Four More Years for Trump campaign.
Fargo, the well-known owner of Chucks Automatic Weapons Gun Shop, was recently involved in numerous protests against the loss of what he considered “My right as an American to drive my pick-up any God-Damn place I choose.”
Fargo and hundreds like him were bitterly opposed to isolation and the restriction of movement due to the Coronavirus. He made national headlines after holding a “Jesus is my vaccine” sign during one of the protests.
Mayor of Dripping Springs, Lou Crocket was among the first to lead the tributes to the late Chuck Fargo.
“I blame the Chinese, they must have specifically targeted Chuck,” said Mayor Crocket.
“Everyone knows that they deliberately target leading Americans and those who support the re-election of President Trump. I have it on the best authority that the virus is laser-beamed from a secret Chink space station which is orbiting the globe — and that’s a fact you can take to the bank.” The mayor said.
‘All a Plot‘
“Chuck, like many other in Dripping Springs believed in our rights as Americans to freely congregate, drink beer and eat burgers whenever, wherever and with whomever we choose — as long as they’re white folk. Chuck was also of the opinion that this so-called pandemic is a dastardly lefty-communist plot to disrupt the November Presidential Elections in a bid to stop our great President Trump from being re-elected.”
“There’s no virus thing here in Dripping Springs. I’m convinced that it is all a lefty Commi/Chinky plot to disrupt our American way of life. But as sure as Mama bakes apple-pie we’ll get through this.”
How the virus will pan out
Mayor Crocket went on to outline how he believes the virus will pan out.
“I believe that we are blessed by the good Lord in having a great Republican President leading our nation. An absolutely gifted politician, scientist and statesman who fully understands the science needed to steer us through these times.”
“Why it was only days ago that he discovered that the virus could be halted by injecting disinfectant anally, or his other fantastic futuristic method of shinning ultra-violet light up into the body from where the sun don’t shine. And then he was modest enough to say ‘but I’m no doctor.’ But of course, the fake-news people never reported that. They only print what the Commi doctors say.
“All that the fake-news commi publications are doing is reporting on the numbers of people sick and dying not one of them has written or broadcast a word on the great job Trump is doing. That’s just plain unfair. Our president has a long-term strategy which he updates daily. His latest idea is to throw money at the virus until it goes away; well it worked with those models didn’t it?” The mayor concluded.
Meanwhile in Ireland News would like to extend our sympathy to Chuck’s family and friends and also offer our prayers for the American people — who, with Trump at the helm really really need them.
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