A prestigious publication recently released an embarrassingly unfunny Cillian Murphy piece that has, unsurprisingly, been blasted on social media.
The New Yorker has enjoyed renown as one of the most prestigious publications in the English language since its first issue back in 1925. So it caused surprise when it published the embarrassingly unfunny piece, ‘Cillian Murphy’s Bedtime Routine’.
The fictitious rendering of Murphy’s evening routine includes tired Irish stereotypes, bizarre interactions with fellow Irish actors, and a frankly strange obsession with the Cork man’s facial features.
Cillian Murphy – the man of the moment
Cork actor Cillian Murphy has long been regarded as one of the best Irish actors of all time, but his worldwide stock has never been higher.
His performance as the titular physicist in Christopher Nolan’s epic biopic Oppenheimer rightly earned Murphy critical acclaim and also saw him pick up awards from all the major associations.
Such is Murphy’s popularity right now that one celebrity memorabilia auctioneer has a lock of his hair for sale for the modest sum of £6,000.
If you think that’s strange, a piece about the actor’s daily routine that appeared in The New Yorker is downright bizarre.
Cillian Murphy’s Bedtime Routine – embarrassingly unfunny
The article entitled ‘Cillian Murphy’s Bedtime Routine’ by Wendi Aarons and Johanna Gohmann appeared on The New Yorker’s website on 28 March. The supposedly humorous piece details a fictitious evening in the life of the Irish star.
At 5 pm, the authors write, Murphy “call[s] ’round to the pub and dine on a hearty meal of potatoes [and] bangers” before he “mournfully play Billie Eilish’s ‘What Was I Made For?’ on the panpipes” at home.
According to Aarons and Gohmann, Murphy, among other pre-bed activities, drinks bathtub gin, soaks in a bath with a “Guinness glitter bath bomb”, polishes his cheekbones with unsalted Kerrygold, and “make[s] gentle but furious love to the ghost of Molly Malone”.
Odder yet are his supposed interactions with fellow Irish actors.
Aarons and Gohmann have Murphy wear a dress made by Colin Farrell’s nana, “text Paul Mescal a gif of Bradley Cooper looking sad, with caption “LOL”’, and – strangest of all – rap about Barry Keoghan’s genitals.
Reaction to the piece – what the f…?
The piece comes under the ‘humour’ section in The New Yorker, but we fail to see what’s funny about it at all. It seems we are not alone, with scores taking to Twitter to scorn the cringeworthy piece.
One user (@patrickjhoran) called it “weird and indefensibly bad”, while @JohnRogersShow called for the publication to delete and apologise. Our favourite tweet of the lot, however, was @DermotKeyes’s simple question: “How did it take two people to write this level of rubbish?”.
We echo those sentiments wholeheartedly.
