A Kilkenny accountant has strenuously denied accusations that a mid-life crisis influenced his recent purchase of a Harley-Davidson Iron 1200 Sportster.
Gordon O’Neill (55) issued the denial while attending a nightclub in Kilkenny City Centre, where he was accompanied by his new girlfriend Cynthia, aged 25, who is a beautician in the city.
No mid-life crisis
Recently separated from his wife of twenty-five-years, O’Neill now resides in a ‘superior-class’ apartment where Cynthia has become a frequent visitor.
“It’s got nothing to do with a mid-life crisis,” O’Neill vented. “I resent people saying that just because I have a much younger new girlfriend. They said that last month when I came back from Turkey after having the hair transplant.”
O’Neill continued; “Cynthia sees me for what I am — young at heart. Okay, yes, I helped her out a bit financially when I set her up in business but in fairness, the Harley is just handy for getting around.”
‘Not a Sugar-Daddy‘
“No!” he continued. “The Harley is not a manifestation of any desperate attempt to regain my youth — that’s just stupid. It’s like saying Cynthia is only into me as a Sugar-Daddy.
“Why, then, on the first night we met did she tell me how much she loved me? This was even before I offered to help set her up in her business.”
The doctor’s prescription
O’Neill was left furious after a snide remark from one of Cynthia’s friends that the Harley was probably the only thing between his legs that had a bit of ‘get up and go’ left.
He responded; “That’s nonsense, Cynthia is very understanding in that department. She appreciates that all men might have that one or two nights when they’re a bit tired.
“Anyway, my doctor gave me a prescription for those little blue helpers. Not that I need them,” he hastened to add. “No! Cynthia said the leather motorbike trousers help hold in my slight belly-bulge.”
‘She understands me’
“It’s like this; Cynthia understands me in a way that my ex-wife never did. She would never have agreed to the Harley. All she was interested in was a Volvo with plenty of space for a child seat for the grandchild.
“I mean, Jaysus! How can you regain your youth and look cool driving around in a Volvo with a child-seat?” he asked.
He went on; “It’s that bit tiring going out clubbing night after night in Kilkenny with Cynthia and her young friends but the Harley makes me look a lot younger — even if at times I mightn’t feel it.
“Yeah, and I admit, paying for the Harley, the Ex’s Volvo and a couple of mortgages plus giving Cynthia the loan for her business has stretched me a bit. But at least I look good.”
A caring girlfriend
Meanwhile in Ireland understands that Cynthia is busy organising parachuting lessons for O’Neill and as an attentive girlfriend intends to pack the parachute for him.
She has also offered to service the brakes on the Harley. News of this broke after it emerged that Cynthia was recently named as the principal beneficiary of O’Neill’s new will.
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