13. “It’s not too cold today.”

We all know someone who would give any excuse to have a BBQ in cold weather, rain or snow.

14. “I will, yeah.”

That’s the sarcastic translation for “no”.

15. “Its alright, it happens to everyone.”

 

It doesn’t.

16. “We can still be friends.”

That was the last thing she ever said to me.

17. “Then you take a left, you can’t miss it.”

I must have missed it, I kept driving for miles.

18. “Cork is the real capital of Ireland.”

If you are from Cork, you will argue this is the truth.

19. “Be honest with me. I can take it. I won’t be mad.”

If you want to live, never ever tell the truth after you hear these words..

20. “I’m so busy, I don’t have time.”

They do, they just couldn’t be fecked.

21. “It’s delicious but I can’t eat another bite.”

They hate it and can’t wait to leave the room so they can spit out what remains.

22. “That baby is just beautiful!”

Why would you ever want to tell a happy new parent that their baby is ugly? The Irish are kind souls.

23. “I’m just a social drinker.”

 

If you say this, you are probably an alcoholic.

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