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    You are at:Home » News » Craic » Limerick man angry to find his ‘online supermodel girlfriend’ is actually a man in Nigeria
    Craic Satire

    Limerick man angry to find his ‘online supermodel girlfriend’ is actually a man in Nigeria

    Gerald LeinsterBy Gerald LeinsterJuly 1, 2019No Comments3 Mins Read
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    A fifty-nine-year-old Limerick City man has come out on social media describing his surprise at discovering the ‘girl’ he hoped to marry was actually a Nigerian man.

    Thomas Kinsella (59) of Sallybank Road on the North side of Limerick told of his shock and dismay after travelling to Lagos to meet Cynthia a ‘girl’ he had met online.

    “We had been chatting online for over six months,” he wrote. “Then I decided to surprise her by travelling to Nigeria with a present for her birthday.”

    “I had given her presents before,” he wrote. “But bank cash transfers are very impersonal, this time I wanted to watch her face light up when we actually met for the first time.

    “Anyway, a ‘girl’s’ twenty-fifth birthday is a big occasion; I didn’t want her to celebrate it alone.”

    First Contact

    A retired Limerick City Litter Warden, Kinsella first made contact with Cynthia when she sent him a friend request on Facebook.

    “We started chatting and sending photographs straight away. She looked lovely, all bubbly and full of fun wearing her bikini on the beach.”

    Kinsella told social media how when after a week of contact with Cynthia she had a stroke of bad luck.

    “It was terribly sad, just as we were getting to know each other her poor mum developed cataracts and needed an operation. Seemingly operations are expensive in Nigeria, so I offered to help pay for it.”

    A Litany of Bad Luck

    A close reading of Thomas’s posts both on Facebook and Twitter lists a litany of ill-fortune which befell Cynthia.

    Her brother fell off his scooter and was out of work for three months. Cynthia herself lost her job as a kindergarten teacher. But according to Thomas, he was more than happy to send her money.

    As he put it, “Shur, the pension is fairly good and while it did put a dent in my credit union account — if you can’t help out the love of your life then who can you help out?”

    Surprise her with a ring

    “Anyway,” Thomas told his social media friends. “I thought it would be lovely to fly out to Nigeria — as a surprise for her and ‘pop the question’ on her birthday.

    I was able to figure out where she lived from the background in some of her photographs. So I bought the ring and booked the flight.”

    “Jaysus! I was the one who got the surprise. I can tell you that for nothing. There he stood at the door in the see-through negligee I sent. No wig, unshaven and a willy on her the size of Delaney’s donkey. Gave me the fright of me life, it did. His name wasn’t actually Cynthia, but Victor” he wrote.

    A Happy Ending

    While Thomas’s social media post did attractive some negative comments, many readers expressed delight that both Thomas and Victor have got over the initial ‘hump’ in their relationship and have decided to ‘make a go of it.’

    Thomas and Victor are now living together happily in Lagos where Victor continues his internet business.

    On Victor’s advice and to avoid bank transfer fees, Thomas who hasn’t yet opened a Nigerian bank account, has transferred his savings and pension into Victor’s account so that they both can afford to live happily ever after.

    Disclaimer

    This article is satire. Articles in this section are spoof articles which should not be taken as the truth, nor are they are intended to offend. However, if you are offended, please inform us formally via a letter. You can ensure it gets to us by placing it in the nearest recycling bin.

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    Gerald Leinster
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    Gerald Leinster is one of Ireland's most noteworthy journalists, columnists and commentator on Irish and international issues. Often accused of being more right-wing than Genghis Khan whom he admires greatly, Gerald is an Oxbridge graduate. He has authored many best-selling books including the recent ' The Margaret Thatcher I knew and Loved' and his previous bestseller 'Reagan, Bush, and Trump -- Gods of Their Time.' In his spare time, you might find Gerald relaxing on a golf course in Kildare, watching International rugby or dining out in Dublin's more fashionable restaurants. Although he strives for a professional journalistic apolitical stance, he feels strongly about the reunification of Ireland and the UK. He also holds membership of both Fine Gael and Fianna Fail.

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