A popular bartender of The Spread Eagle in Phibsborough has gained Nobel recognition for his Guinness mastery, and here is what went down.
Ireland is beaming with joy now that it has been unveiled that a local Dublin bartender, Joseph Higgins, has only gone and bagged himself a Nobel Prize for the perfect Guinness pour – a reflection of true passion.
What began as a taste for the Irish stout quickly turned into a passion for pouring, and for the past ten years, Joseph has dedicated every ounce of time and energy to getting the pour just right.
And now, all the hard work and falling asleep at the taps has paid off.
Joseph Higgins – dedicated to the black stuff
While other bartenders in Dublin had banter with their customers or joined in for a shot or two when the crowds went wild, Joseph Higgins always had his head in the game.
Knowing he was always destined for bigger and better things, the Phibsborough-based bartender, originally from Walkinstown, spent hours perfecting the pour.
Joseph revealed that he would stay behind training at the taps while his colleagues finished up after a 12-hour shift.
Describing his passion for the black stuff, Higgins said, “There were times the crew would come in and find me passed out at the tap with exhaustion, having poured all night”, adding that he was in it to win it and always knew he would get recognised for his work.
This is not the first time he has been complimented on his pour; plenty of customers who drop into The Spread Eagle in Phibsborough line up to have their Guinness poured by ‘Joseph the pro-Higgins’ as he is locally known. That recognition has surpassed his expectations, and he is now a Nobel Prize winner.
Spread Eagle bartender wins Nobel Prize for perfect Guinness pour – an unfathomable honour
Just recently, Higgins’ gravity-defying feat has taken the nation and the world by storm as he put all his hard work into practice.
The Dublin man demonstrated the uncanny ability to pour a pint of Guinness with an astonishing ratio of creamy head to dark, velvety liquid. What resulted was a flawless pint, complete with cascading bubbles and an iconic frothy crown, which every bartender across the country was jealous of.
What has long been a mystery to physicists worldwide, Higgins has effectively cracked the equation and poured the ultimate pint of Guinness, earning him a prestigious Nobel Prize.
Following in the footsteps of Irishmen George Bernard Shaw, William Butler Yeats and Seamus Heaney, all of whom won Nobel Prizes for their literary work, Higgins described the feeling of following suit as “pure savage”.
Adding, “I knew everything I was training for would lead me to some sort of global recognition, but this is beyond belief”.
Higgins hinted that he might be taking the Guinness pour to the Olympics now that he has set his sights even higher, “Who knows, you could see me pouring smashing pints at the next Olympics – that’s the dream”. But for now, the Nobel Prize will have to do.
The pour that baffles scientists – the Nobel pour
Joseph has not only left the Irish nation and the world with the jaws wide open but it has been revealed that scientists have reached out to the pour master for tips and advice.
When asked about his groundbreaking technique, Higgins said, “It’s all in the wrist action”. He explained to the Nobel Committee, “You have to let the Guinness settle just right, tilt the glass at exactly the right angle and let the nitrogen bubbles do their dance”.
His response so blew away the Committee that they deemed him a ‘genius’ and foresee Higgins going far with this technique.
While international scientists eagerly await meetings with Higgins, the city of Dublin has erupted in celebration, with the River Liffey flowing with a stream of perfectly poured pints.
Local lady Dawn Harris from Inchicore said, “It’s a great day for the parish. Joseph Higgins has done us proud, and we will all be there to celebrate whatever his next goal may be.”
Dan Murray, a local patron at The Spread Eagle in Phibsborough, expressed his joy, “I’ve seen how much work Joseph puts into mastering the perfect pour, and I’d like to think I’ve given him a few tips along the way”.
Michael D Higgins, the great-uncle of Joseph, has revealed that ‘Joseph Higgins Day’ will be a dedicated bank holiday, set for 28 September to replace Arthur’s Day, which “never really took off”.
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