The mixed martial artist and boxer Conor McGregor has again announced his retirement from competitive fighting but has left the sporting word in confusion days later after also announcing that his initial announcement was made when he was in a tired and emotional state.
Speaking at a press conference to clarify his clarification, Conor told reporters; “Well, you know the way it is lads. You are out having a few beers with the lads and the craic is good. Suddenly they all feck-off home and you’re left on your own, sort of bored out of your tree. So you sort of start messing on Twitter.”
The world’s second greatest Irishman
“Right, I’ll admit to having had a few and being in the mood for a bit of messing. I sort of looked around to see if there was any auld-fella I could pick a fight with but there wasn’t so I started messing on Twitter, so I did. Boredom plain and simple.”
Conor, who self identifies as being the world’s second greatest Irishman after Michael Flatley, also told reporters; “Nah, seriously, if there had been an auld fella in the bar I’d probably just have started a fight, so I would. Like, I’m always up for a bit of an auld bar fight especially when I has the three bodyguard lads within shouting distance.”
“I was just plain and simply twisted. I was going to start tweeting about black lives mattering and all that kind of stuff but my two previous ‘retirement’ tweets last year got a rake of hits on Twitter so I decided to give the auld retirement nonsense another go.”
Previous retirement announcements
Conor, who previously announced his retirement in 2016 and 2019 before twice returning to the octagon, added; “The retirement announcements are great craic altogether, so they are. Honestly, you should see the number of followers I have on Twitter and FaceTube. Like, I’m seriously famous so I am. And I’m also seriously popular with both my friends.”
Conor then asked the members of the press; “Do you know the way they’re knocking down all them statues in England and America — do you think they’d replace them with statues of me?
“Like seriously lads I’d pay for them out of me millions, so I would. They could have statues of me retiring then coming out of retirement then retiring and then coming out of retirement again, so they could.”
Stealing Bono’s sunglasses
While speaking to the press Conor was wearing a gold-coloured lame shirt open down to the waist and dark wrap-around Bono type sunglasses. “I got the shirt from Michael Flatley, so I did. He’s one of my two good friends, so he is.
“And I got the sunglasses from Bono after I threatened him with a slap. I can’t honestly say that Bono is a good friend — even though he sent me a friend request on Facebook but even I have standards,” the middle-aged narcissist told reporters.
More retirements en route?
Meanwhile in Ireland understands that Conor hopes to retire from the UFC again before the end of this year and plans are being considered for two more retirements scheduled for 2021. We will bring more to you as soon as we get it.
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