A North Dublin pub became the centre of national media attention last night after a fracas broke out when a local man announced that he cannot stand the concept of ladies playing football.
Timmy O’Neill (45) of the McDonagh flats in Coolock made the announcement while socialising with acquaintances at the Goal Post Pub in Drumcondra, not far from Croke Park where women play on a regular basis.
What would you know about football?
A large and rotund man, Timmy shocked regulars at the bar when he said; “I can’t stand Ladies Football, so I can’t,” and then, to add insult to injury, added; “They should be at home cooking for their men, so they should.”
“Will you go-way to f**k,” was one comment made by James Horan, a lifelong Dubs supporter. “Jaysus you fat fecker, shur you’ve never kicked a fecking ball in your life. What the Jaysus would you know about football, women’s or men’s?”
“I’ve got a fecking television just like everyone else,” was Timmy’s rather weak reply. “I’ve seen them women running up and down the pitch with their big fat arses on them and their titties bouncing up and down.
“Shur then, when they do get to the shagging goal line they fecking pause to put on a bit of lipstick and pose for the cameras, so they do. Bloody sissies the lot of them.”
Look for the kicking and passing
The exchange was overheard by Big Mick Blake, who has two daughters who play for St Nessan’s GAA club. “You shouldn’t be looking at them young girl’s titties, ’tis the kicking, passing and ball control you should be watching out for,” Big Mick said rather angrily.
“Yeah I know,” said Timmy and, instead of leaving well enough alone, continued; “And I’ve heard stories about their ball control with every young-fella in the parish down the bank’s of the canal every Saturday night.”
Lost the rag
Big Mick then lost the rag altogether. He pushed Horan aside, causing him to topple to the floor and then gave Timmy an almighty dig right into the gob. The force of the blow caused Timmy to fly across the room and in the lap of Sheila Mulqueen, who was sitting on the couch.
Sheila’s boyfriend had just returned from the loo and saw Timmy stretched across his girlfriend in what he thought was an intimate embrace. “Get off her you randy auld sod,” he roared at Timmy before grabbing him by the hair and kicking him in the arse.
The barman, Peter Murphy, decided that enough was enough and grabbed the hurley he keeps behind the bar for such an occasion and got stuck into Sheila’s boyfriend. It wasn’t long before every single customer got stuck in and punches, kicks and head-butts were flying around all over the place.
Sunday Game brings peace
Meanwhile in Ireland can report that peace was only restored when someone noticed that the Sunday Game had just begun on the telly and everyone paused their aggression to watch the Dublin v Tyrone replay. A quiet night out was then enjoyed by all.
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