Historian suggests Jesus may have spent time in Donegal as child

A renowned Cambridge historian has made startling discoveries suggesting that Jesus Christ spent time as a youth on holidays in County Donegal, Ireland.

Professor Donald Lavery, who is one of the world’s leading authorities on new testimony studies, has claimed that robes found in an unnamed prove that spent at least one summer in Bundoran, County Donegal.

Scientific research

Professor Lavery and his archaeological team have spent two years researching ancient biblical texts and conducting scientific tests on robes which were found in a cave ten years ago by a local Donegal fisherman.

Carbon testing shows that the robes can be traced back to 12AD and are of a type common in the Middle East at the start of the first millennium.

Professor Lavery is also basing his claims on local folklore which tells of a mysterious youth who came to study at an Irish Language summer school during June/July of 12AD.

Robes discovered a decade ago

Jimmy McNulty, a reporter with the local paper the Donegal Leader, told us; “The initial find was by a local lobster fisherman about ten-years ago. Mickey Og MacDermott was out looking for lost lobster pots after the big storm of 2010.

“When he came across this cave that had been uncovered by the storm, the cave was empty of pots but Mickey Og did come across these Arab class of robes,” the reporter reported.

“Later on that night,” McNulty went on, “Mickey Og was telling some auld-lads drinking pints in the Thatch Bar in Bundoran about what he had found.

“’Be-Jaysus’ says one of the auld-fellas, ‘that reminds me of the story me Father’s Grandfather used to tell of some Arab lad that was here years ago to learn Irish’.

Sent to Donegal during the Roman times

The story tells of how during the Roman occupation of Britain — the Romans never made it to Ireland — the Arab lads who were sworn enemies of the Romans used to send their kids to Donegal for the summer — to give them a bit of a break and learn the few words of Irish.

“Anyway,” McNulty went on, “a few of these Arab lads were from Nazareth and there was one lad in particular who was a bit on the odd side. Seemingly he could walk on water and turn it into wine or Guinness — whatever you’d be having yourself like.

A popular lad with the locals

“The walking on water was great crack. It made him popular with the local fishermen who couldn’t be arsed launching a boat, and the lads that loved a pint thought he was great. One day he is supposed to have fed the whole village on one fish and a bit of a sliced pan.”

“Legend has it that when the holidays were over himself and the other Arab lads went back to Arabia or wherever and nothing was heard of him since — I suppose he married and settled down or something,” McNulty acutely surmised.

Church dismissing the claims

A spokesperson for the Catholic Church has said that the Church is dismissing all claims made by Professor Lavery regarding the robes being those worn by Jesus.

In all fairness, if you were the all-powerful Son of God, would you spend two months in Bundoran? However, Meanwhile in Ireland has become aware that scraps of cloth from the robes are being sold as relics at the Thatch Bar Bundoran.