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    You are at:Home » News » Craic » Conor McGregor agrees to rematch with old man he punched in pub
    Craic Satire

    Conor McGregor agrees to rematch with old man he punched in pub

    Gerald LeinsterBy Gerald LeinsterSeptember 24, 2019No Comments3 Mins Read
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    Former UFC Champion Connor McGregor has agreed to a rematch with an old man who he allegedly punched recently in a Dublin pub.

    The incident was captured on video and shared widely on social media.

    The Challenge for McGregor to fight a rematch was made by Paddy ‘Pintman’ McCarthy (67), in the Liberties area of Dublin, the pensioner McGregor ‘allegedly’ punched.

    It has since been confirmed that the fight will take place in Dublin on the 14th December this year.

    Top commentators are calling it ‘the biggest rematch since Ali vs. Frazier in 1974’.

    A Bit Softish

    “To be honest I thought he was just some guy trying to pedal cheap booze,” Mr McCarthy told us. I never realised he was that particular D**k-Head.

    “And again, to be honest, I didn’t really feel the punch he threw at me — it was the kind of punch your sister would use — a bit softish like. I think I will be ready for a proper fight under fair conditions.”

    The pintman is actually a former marine

    McCarthy originally from the Liberties area of Dublin emigrated to the United States when he was sixteen. He enlisted in the US Marine Corps and retired some years ago after achieving the rank of company sergeant major.

    McCarthy undertook three tours of duty in the Vietnam conflict. He led a platoon during the invasion of Grenada and was awarded the Presidential Unit Citation (PUC) for bravery in both the first and second Gulf wars.

    He retired in 2000 after spending some years as Chief Marine Corps Instructor in both amphibious assaults and hand to hand combat.

    ‘McGregor misguided’

    Speaking to reporters McCarthy said, “to be fair to McGregor, I think he is just a bit misguided. We used to come across young-fellas like that in every recruit intake into the marines. The guys who think they are the bee’s knees always looking to prove how tough they are.

    “In the Corps, it usually didn’t take long to teach them different. Usually, a quick kick in the balls quietened them.”

    McCarthy Keen to Give it Another Go

    McCarthy continued: “I’d be keen to give him another go. Like in fairness to the lad he must be seriously embarrassed.

    “Like, in fairness again, I’m twice his age, sitting there with my back turned sipping my pint, he had the element of surprise and even then I barely felt his punch.

    “And he’s supposed to be a world champion. World champion my God-Damn Ass! The lad who came second must have been a right wimp altogether.” Wayne said in a unique American/Dublin drawl.

    McGregor confirms the fight via Twitter

    McGregor has confirmed the date of the fight with a short and simple message on his Twitter.

    We simply wrote ” Dublin, December 14th.”

    Dublin, December 14th.

    — Conor McGregor (@TheNotoriousMMA) September 16, 2019

    McGregor in intensive training

    McGregor is reported to have begun an intensive training regime in preparation for the rematch with the pensioner.

    Whereas McCarthy says he will not be carrying out any special training —”I did my training in Nam and Desert Storm.”

    He told reporters, “although I might have a root through my bedroom locker for my brass knuckle duster and steel toe-capped boots — we learn how to hurt in the marines and that Lad deserves a good kicking.”

    Bookies have confirmed that the old man is the favourite for the rematch at 5/4 whilst the odds of Mcgregor winning is 3/1.

    Disclaimer

    This article is satire. Articles in this section are spoof articles which should not be taken as the truth, nor are they are intended to offend. However, if you are offended, please inform us formally via a letter. You can ensure it gets to us by placing it in the nearest recycling bin.

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    Gerald Leinster
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    Gerald Leinster is one of Ireland's most noteworthy journalists, columnists and commentator on Irish and international issues. Often accused of being more right-wing than Genghis Khan whom he admires greatly, Gerald is an Oxbridge graduate. He has authored many best-selling books including the recent ' The Margaret Thatcher I knew and Loved' and his previous bestseller 'Reagan, Bush, and Trump -- Gods of Their Time.' In his spare time, you might find Gerald relaxing on a golf course in Kildare, watching International rugby or dining out in Dublin's more fashionable restaurants. Although he strives for a professional journalistic apolitical stance, he feels strongly about the reunification of Ireland and the UK. He also holds membership of both Fine Gael and Fianna Fail.

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