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    You are at:Home » News » Craic » Evidence emerges that Hitler fled to Ireland after WWII
    Craic Satire

    Evidence emerges that Hitler fled to Ireland after WWII

    Gerald LeinsterBy Gerald LeinsterFebruary 14, 2020No Comments3 Mins Read
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    A recent report published by the Royal Irish Historical Association refers to studies and research carried out by Professor Jeffery Stevenson, a noted expert in Germanic/Irish history, which forwards the theory that the German Fuher Adolf Hitler secretly landed in Ireland’s County Kerry in late April 1945.

    Speaking at the launch of Professor Stevenson’s new book entitled ‘Adolf Hitler: a True Kerry Man’, Chairperson of the RIHA Dr Donal Lavery said: “This book proves without any doubt that not only did Hitler live out his remaining years in Kerry, dying of old age in 1968, but he contributed greatly to the social fabric and development of the county.”

    The research is clear

    Image result for archives
    Archives. Credit: commons.wikimedia.org

    “Research uncovered in the village of Astee, County Kerry parochial archives clearly show that a small-statured moustached man was landed by U boat on a beach on the Kerry side of the Shannon Estuary on the 30th of April 1945, the day on which Hitler was said to have taken his own life in a bunker in Berlin.

    Dr Stevenson’s research shows that the Parish of Astee in Kerry also records the arrival of a small moustached man accompanied by a German shepherd dog and speaking with a slightly funny accent at Sunday mass on May 6 1945.

    Originally thought to be from Clare

    Berlin after WWII. Credit: wikipedia.org

    “We initially thought from his accent that he was from across the estuary in Kilrush Co Clare,” local Historian and retired grocer Mickey Joe O’ Murutage told Professor Stevenson. “But we quickly established that he was Austrian when he started telling the dog to sit and stay in German. 

    “Berlin was in ruins, not a building left standing and bullets flying everywhere, I suppose a bit like Limerick is now,” Mickey Joe speculated. “And with the Yanks, Brits, and Russians closing in on Berlin he had to get out fairly fast.

    Image result for limerick city
    Limerick City. Credit: William Murphy / Flickr

    “Unfortunately, there wasn’t enough room in the submarine for the dog and his new wife so like any decent man would do, he said goodbye to the wife and himself and the dog travelled to Ireland.”

    “A lot of the ‘boys’ had been on the run from the Brits back during the troubles so Hitler was soon accepted as one of the lads,” Professor Stevenson records in his book.

    New identity cutting turf   

    “To be honest,” Mickey Joe continued, “he had a fair wad of cash with him and he wasn’t shy when it came to buying a few rounds, so, we decided to help him out. One of the lads thought that he’d be better off with a new identity so we dropped the Adolf and started calling him Paddy. It wasn’t long before he settled into the community.”

    Image result for rural ireland worker
    Credit: Fiona MacGinty-O’Neill / Flickr

    Evidence has emerged that Paddy Hitler bought a few acres of land and between raising a few heads of cattle and digging a few sods of turf made a good living for himself.

    “He also gave a hand at the local GAA football club,” Mickey Joe told us. “He was a great trainer with the under fifteen teams for a few years. Jaysus you’ve never seen such discipline in a football team as we had those years.”

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    This article is satire. Articles in this section are spoof articles which should not be taken as the truth, nor are they are intended to offend. However, if you are offended, please inform us formally via a letter. You can ensure it gets to us by placing it in the nearest recycling bin.

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    Gerald Leinster
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    Gerald Leinster is one of Ireland's most noteworthy journalists, columnists and commentator on Irish and international issues. Often accused of being more right-wing than Genghis Khan whom he admires greatly, Gerald is an Oxbridge graduate. He has authored many best-selling books including the recent ' The Margaret Thatcher I knew and Loved' and his previous bestseller 'Reagan, Bush, and Trump -- Gods of Their Time.' In his spare time, you might find Gerald relaxing on a golf course in Kildare, watching International rugby or dining out in Dublin's more fashionable restaurants. Although he strives for a professional journalistic apolitical stance, he feels strongly about the reunification of Ireland and the UK. He also holds membership of both Fine Gael and Fianna Fail.

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