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    You are at:Home » News » Satire » Wexford man demands refund after not finding love at Lisdoonvarna Matchmaking Festival
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    Wexford man demands refund after not finding love at Lisdoonvarna Matchmaking Festival

    Jade PoleonBy Jade PoleonOctober 18, 2023No Comments5 Mins Read
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    Wexford man who deemed the International Irish matchmaking festival as a hoax and a waste of money has demanded a refund and made national news.

    Wexford man demands refund after not finding love at Lisdoonvarna Matchmaking Festival.

    The Lisdoonvarna Matchmaking Festival has brought couples together for over 150 years, but one disappointed Wexford man could damage the reputation, as he reveals the festival is a ‘holy show’.

    The festival, held in September each year, brings hope to many singletons across Ireland who aim to meet the love of their lives, yet the most recent festival proved to be an “epic fail” for Wexford local Paddy Murray.

    Murray recently made headlines when he made a bold statement, suggesting that Ireland’s beloved matchmaking festival, also world-famous for its niche, is a “complete hoax”.

    Paddy, who is 56 and has never been on a date, said that this was a big deal for him, and he is now living in total regret and is “utterly mortified” by the whole ordeal.

    He said to RTE, “I put myself out there after a lot of persuasion, and now I am still alone, embarrassed and have no hope of finding anyone”.

    Wexford man aimed to find love in Lisdoonvarna – where it all went wrong

    According to his recent interview with RTE, Paddy Murray revealed that he had made the long journey to County Clare to participate in the Lisdoonvarna Matchmaking Festival after much persuasion from his family and friends.

    “All me friends are married with kids, and I’m the only one left, so I thought maybe they are right, I need to give it a try”.

    Armed with a newly purchased Dunnes Stores wardrobe of new clothes and an antique pocket watch from his grandfather, the Wexford singleton made the journey to the West with high hopes.

    “I had been hearing about this festival for years, and I know a few people who found their partners this way, but I was aware that the competition might be fierce”.

    Revealing that he has never had much luck with the ladies and has never even been on a date, Paddy said this was a big deal for him, and now he wishes he never made the move.

    After hearing that Lisdoonvarna was a “love haven” where you could walk down the street and meet your soul mate, Paddy said he was slightly convinced that this might go in his favour. Sadly, it did not!

    Fierce competition – no luck with the ladies

    Wexford man demands refund after not finding love at Lisdoonvarna Matchmaking Festival.

    While many couples across the country are delighted to have found the love of their lives at the Lisdoonvarna Matchmaking Festival, Paddy is one of the rare few who did not find love – not even close.

    “My family and friends said I was a catch and that any lady would be lucky to have me, but it just didn’t go in my favour and I’m mortified”.

    Revealing that he even spent the lead-up to the festival studying “catchy pick-up lines” and practising eye contact and ‘general chat’, Paddy said he just doesn’t know where he went wrong.

    Despite having the pick-up line, “Are you Irish? Because when I look at you, my heart races like a leprechaun chasing a pot of gold”, the competition was fierce at the ready.

    Speaking to RTE, Paddy also revealed that he was ’a little bit intimidated’ by the other men at the festival, some of whom were in Armani suits and sporting Rolex watches.

    “The competition here is fierce,” Paddy admitted while nursing a glass of water to nurse the remnants of his Lisdoonvarna hangover.

    “There are more hopeful romantics than sheep in the Irish countryside, and that’s saying something. I even got into a heated debate about the best potato variety with another bachelor. Things got ugly”.

    Demanding a refund – a bloody waste of money


    Deeming it a “bloody waste of money” and “a hoax” and saying that this was indeed “false advertising” on their part, Paddy has revealed that he is demanding a refund and compensation for his broken heart and tainted image.

    After three weeks of having no luck with the ladies, Paddy decided to take action. Armed with a lawyer’s business card he acquired during a drunken encounter, he demanded a refund from the festival organisers.

    Since the festival organisers never actually guarantee that attendees will find love, Paddy might not have a leg to stand on.

    As the word of Paddy’s refund request spread through the village and made national headlines, Paddy has now become a recognisable face to his dislike. He is adamant that he will stand his ground to prevent other hopeful singletons from getting ripped off like he did.

    One of the upsides Paddy says is that he is getting many free pints around town, as everyone takes pity on him, but only time will tell if he gets his refund to pay for his pints in future.

    MORE NEWS: Dublin bartender wins Nobel Prize for perfect Guinness pour

    Disclaimer

    This article is satire. Articles in this section are spoof articles which should not be taken as the truth, nor are they are intended to offend. However, if you are offended, please inform us formally via a letter. You can ensure it gets to us by placing it in the nearest recycling bin.

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    Jade Poleon

    Jade is a seasoned traveller, yoga enthusiast, adventure seeker and travel writer passionate about seeing the world and sharing hidden gems with others. As well as having travelled to 91 countries thus far, she has written for several websites, including The World Bucket List, Meanwhile in Ireland and Ireland Before You Die. In 2022 Jade’s first book ‘ The Ultimate Irish Road Trip Guide’ was published and is currently available on Amazon. She is a keen writer of satirical articles, as well as ‘The best things to do’ and ‘The best dishes to try’ around the globe. Jade is currently on a campervan adventure around Europe, where she continues to get her travel and food inspiration. She is excited to share what she discovers with her readers.

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