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You are at:Home » News » Craic » Outcry as woman allows boyfriend of 3 months to ‘go out with the lads’
Craic Satire

Outcry as woman allows boyfriend of 3 months to ‘go out with the lads’

Gerald LeinsterBy Gerald LeinsterDecember 12, 2019No Comments3 Mins Read
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Dublin society was thrown into turmoil this week after it emerged that a woman allowed her new boyfriend to socialise and drink with his friends.

“Shock” and “awe” were words being bandied around Dublin city this week when news broke that Jennifer Ryan (27) relented and allowed her boyfriend of three months to ‘go out with the lads.’

Reaction from Jennifer’s friends

“It’s disgusting and could lead to all sorts of knock-on issues,” a friend of Jennifer’s stated. “It sets an awful precedent for the rest of us who struggle daily to keep our men under some sort of control.”

Another female friend of Jennifer sobbed openly when talking to our reporter. She said; “I mean it’s so totally un-cool. I’m afraid my fella will hear about this.

“God knows but next thing he’ll want to go out with the lads as well. Where will it all end?” she asked while desperately trying to wipe away the tears without ruining her mascara.

Social media reaction

Leading social commentator Pricilla Rice — who boasts a huge following on Facebook and Twitter — posted about the situation this morning.

“This sort of thing needs to be nipped in the bud. Boyfriends of only three-months standing should never be allowed ‘out with the lads.’

“Women should look at new boyfriends how you would look at a new puppy; you wouldn’t let a new puppy out on his own now, would you? Gawd sake Ladies, at three-months most boyfriends aren’t even house-trained.”

Radio interview

Interviewed on Dublin Radio’s Girl Time with prominent radio host Susan Show, Pricilla expanded upon her expert analysis of the situation.

“Seriously, Susan, a night out with the lads should be looked at as an occasional treat for a boyfriend. Not a privilege that girls bestow too frequently.

“Some of the things that men get up to on lad’s nights out would amaze you. They spend the night sipping pints, talking soccer and box-sets and even award points based on looks to their female colleagues. It’s disgusting behaviour.

“It’s just bad, bad news. It would be okay after a year or two when they are trained and you can trust them. But after three months — no, that’s way too soon,” she concluded.

Reaction from ‘The Lads’

Sean Jones (30) — who requested the use of a fake name to protect his true identity — is a spokesperson for ‘The Lads’ and issued a passionate statement in response.

Credit: National Library of Ireland / Flickr

“We, ‘The Lads’, reject out of hand all that nonsense your-wan on the radio was spouting. There is a long-standing tradition in Ireland that lads with girlfriends can find peace and sanctuary on a decent night out with fellow lads.

“I’m telling you now; it will take more than that-wan to put a halt to it,” the statement ends defiantly. It is expected the lads will campaign for another night out in the near future.

The Lads Anonymous support group

If you are a male in a new relationship and have been affected by the foregoing situation, The Lads Anonymous can be contacted any night in most decent pubs. New members are always welcome.

Disclaimer

This article is satire. Articles in this section are spoof articles which should not be taken as the truth, nor are they are intended to offend. However, if you are offended, please inform us formally via a letter. You can ensure it gets to us by placing it in the nearest recycling bin.

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Gerald Leinster
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Gerald Leinster is one of Ireland's most noteworthy journalists, columnists and commentator on Irish and international issues. Often accused of being more right-wing than Genghis Khan whom he admires greatly, Gerald is an Oxbridge graduate. He has authored many best-selling books including the recent ' The Margaret Thatcher I knew and Loved' and his previous bestseller 'Reagan, Bush, and Trump -- Gods of Their Time.' In his spare time, you might find Gerald relaxing on a golf course in Kildare, watching International rugby or dining out in Dublin's more fashionable restaurants. Although he strives for a professional journalistic apolitical stance, he feels strongly about the reunification of Ireland and the UK. He also holds membership of both Fine Gael and Fianna Fail.

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