The RTÉ Weather Department has admitted that they have been using the BBC News website for the past five years to formulate their own weather forecasts, forcing Director-General George Mansfield to apologise.
The revelations were highlighted in an ‘RTÉ Investigates’ report aired on the National Broadcaster last night after it was left with no choice but to look into its own wrongdoings.
RTÉ Investigates RTÉ
The ‘RTÉ Investigates’ special showed that RTÉ didn’t actually have a weather forecasting division for the past five years and instead simply reported what the BBC had published.
This is the first investigation that RTÉ has done on itself, which is better known for investigative reporting on corrupt politicians, badly run crèches and the Football Association of Ireland (FAI).
It’s the government’s fault
Speaking to the media filled with RTÉ reporters, Mansfield said; “We never thought we’d be caught. It’s not really our fault; if the fecking government had continued pumping money into us we’d have been grand.
“But the cash dried up so we had to make cuts. Like, we thought of cutting back on the bloody millions we’re paying Tubridy, Duffy, D’Arcy and the rest of those fecking free-loaders but they weren’t having none of it.
“Then we thought about getting rid of Lyric FM but the lefty government wouldn’t let us. We had to save a few bob somewhere. The weather forecast lot was an obvious choice.”
Save money by copying the BBC
“One of the lads in accounts came up with a brilliant fecking idea,” Mansfield revealed. “He reckoned we spent about two million on weather forecasting a year and by simply copying what the BBC were saying we’d save a fecking fortune.
“In all fairness, nobody watches it any more except a few fecking fishermen and the odd few farmers. So we went out and bought one of them smart-phones with WIFI connections so we could get the internet and tap into BBC.
“It only cost us a hundred quid. We were paying a couple of grand a week to the fecking MET Office for the same thing and they were wrong half the fecking time.
“But I have to add”, Mansfield said, “I’m a bit cheesed off at the Investigative Unit for investigating us. Like in all fairness, you’d imagine they wouldn’t s**t on their own fecking doorstep. Wouldn’t you?”
Copy and paste the BBC script
The RTÉ Investigative Unit discovered that the Weather Department was googling the BBC weather reports and just copying and pasting the scripts for the dozy weathermen to read.
The Director-General went on; “We used to just take the weather forecast for Wales and then for Scotland and simply split the fecking difference. Nine times out of ten we got it right.
“There were those few times when those great shagging storms blew in from across the Atlantic and took us all by surprise. But feck, it’s Ireland what can you expect?” Mansfield roared, obviously riled up by the investigation.
Rain in Ireland next week
Meanwhile in Ireland can confirm that it will certainly rain in Ireland next week, and for many weeks after that. We can also confirm that we obtained the same information from the BBC website as well.
Disclaimer
This article is satire. We do satire articles because it is great craic and Irish people love it! Articles in this section are spoof articles which should not be taken as the truth, nor are they are intended to offend.
