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    You are at:Home » News » Craic » RTÉ Weather admits they get all their info from BBC News
    Craic Satire

    RTÉ Weather admits they get all their info from BBC News

    Gerald LeinsterBy Gerald LeinsterJanuary 3, 2020No Comments3 Mins Read
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    The RTÉ Weather Department has admitted that they have been using the BBC News website for the past five years to formulate their own weather forecasts, forcing Director-General George Mansfield to apologise.

    The revelations were highlighted in an ‘RTÉ Investigates’ report aired on the National Broadcaster last night after it was left with no choice but to look into its own wrongdoings.

    RTÉ Investigates RTÉ

    Credit: www.en.wikipedia.org

    The ‘RTÉ Investigates’ special showed that RTÉ didn’t actually have a weather forecasting division for the past five years and instead simply reported what the BBC had published.

    This is the first investigation that RTÉ has done on itself, which is better known for investigative reporting on corrupt politicians, badly run crèches and the Football Association of Ireland (FAI).

    It’s the government’s fault

    Speaking to the media filled with RTÉ reporters, Mansfield said; “We never thought we’d be caught. It’s not really our fault; if the fecking government had continued pumping money into us we’d have been grand.

    “But the cash dried up so we had to make cuts. Like, we thought of cutting back on the bloody millions we’re paying Tubridy, Duffy, D’Arcy and the rest of those fecking free-loaders but they weren’t having none of it.

    “Then we thought about getting rid of Lyric FM but the lefty government wouldn’t let us. We had to save a few bob somewhere. The weather forecast lot was an obvious choice.”

    Save money by copying the BBC

    Credit: www.commons.wikimedia.org

    “One of the lads in accounts came up with a brilliant fecking idea,” Mansfield revealed. “He reckoned we spent about two million on weather forecasting a year and by simply copying what the BBC were saying we’d save a fecking fortune.

    “In all fairness, nobody watches it any more except a few fecking fishermen and the odd few farmers. So we went out and bought one of them smart-phones with WIFI connections so we could get the internet and tap into BBC.

    “It only cost us a hundred quid. We were paying a couple of grand a week to the fecking MET Office for the same thing and they were wrong half the fecking time.

    “But I have to add”, Mansfield said, “I’m a bit cheesed off at the Investigative Unit for investigating us. Like in all fairness, you’d imagine they wouldn’t s**t on their own fecking doorstep. Wouldn’t you?”

    Copy and paste the BBC script

    Credit: www.myirelandtour.com

    The RTÉ Investigative Unit discovered that the Weather Department was googling the BBC weather reports and just copying and pasting the scripts for the dozy weathermen to read.

    The Director-General went on; “We used to just take the weather forecast for Wales and then for Scotland and simply split the fecking difference. Nine times out of ten we got it right.

    “There were those few times when those great shagging storms blew in from across the Atlantic and took us all by surprise. But feck, it’s Ireland what can you expect?” Mansfield roared, obviously riled up by the investigation.

    Rain in Ireland next week

    Credit: www.pixabay.com

    Meanwhile in Ireland can confirm that it will certainly rain in Ireland next week, and for many weeks after that. We can also confirm that we obtained the same information from the BBC website as well. 

    Disclaimer

    This article is satire. We do satire articles because it is great craic and Irish people love it! Articles in this section are spoof articles which should not be taken as the truth, nor are they are intended to offend.

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    Gerald Leinster
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    Gerald Leinster is one of Ireland's most noteworthy journalists, columnists and commentator on Irish and international issues. Often accused of being more right-wing than Genghis Khan whom he admires greatly, Gerald is an Oxbridge graduate. He has authored many best-selling books including the recent ' The Margaret Thatcher I knew and Loved' and his previous bestseller 'Reagan, Bush, and Trump -- Gods of Their Time.' In his spare time, you might find Gerald relaxing on a golf course in Kildare, watching International rugby or dining out in Dublin's more fashionable restaurants. Although he strives for a professional journalistic apolitical stance, he feels strongly about the reunification of Ireland and the UK. He also holds membership of both Fine Gael and Fianna Fail.

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