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    You are at:Home » News » Craic » Sinn Féin to Take Up Westminster Seats In Response To Brexit
    Craic Satire

    Sinn Féin to Take Up Westminster Seats In Response To Brexit

    Gerald LeinsterBy Gerald LeinsterMay 13, 2019No Comments2 Mins Read
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    The Sinn Féin Party headquarters announced today that its seven elected members to the Westminster Parliament will abandon their abstentionism policy and attend to vote in the English House of Commons.

    Sinn Féin’s policy of abstentionism dates back to 1918 and is based on their principle that they should not be forced to swear allegiance to the Queen and the legitimacy of British authority in Northern Ireland.

    Speaking at a press conference held in SF party headquarters at Parnell Square Dublin, Party President Mary Lou McDonald told reporters.

    “In light of the current situation surrounding the Brexit negotiations and the resulting bedlam now overtaking English politics, we feel the time is right to take a more active role in the House of Commons.

    “We as a party that represents the entire Island of Ireland feel at this stage, we would be better off inside the tent ‘looking’ out rather than outside ‘looking’ in.” McDonald said.

    “We have always resented and opposed Westminster’s claim to legitimately govern parts of the North. However, it has become very apparent that the English Parliament is now incapable of governing England — not to mind Ulster, so that policy is fairly redundant at the present.”

    Increased Funds for the party

    “On another note,” McDonald explained, “We would envisage a great financial gain to the Party when our MPs take their seats.

    “Yes, we appreciate the millions we have received through the ‘representative’ monies scheme brought under Tony Blair’s government. But — and let’s be honest here — that extra funding from seven MP salaries would come in handy. Times are tough.” She sighed.

    Oath of Allegiance

    Mrs McDonald was then asked about the oath of allegiance to the Queen.

    “Oh, we’re not too worried about that.” She purred as she batted her eyes to the cameras.

    “Let’s face it again, an oath of allegiance is simply a glorified promise and whoever believed a politician’s promise?” She asked the assembled press.

    “Anyway we will instruct our MPs to cross their fingers while taking the oath, so it wouldn’t really count, will it?”

    A DUP observer at the press briefing was at this stage throwing up into a wastepaper basket and the time of going to press unable to comment.

    Disclaimer

    This article is satire. Articles in this section are spoof articles which should not be taken as the truth, nor are they are intended to offend. However, if you are offended, please inform us formally via a letter. You can ensure it gets to us by placing it in the nearest recycling bin.

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    Gerald Leinster
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    Gerald Leinster is one of Ireland's most noteworthy journalists, columnists and commentator on Irish and international issues. Often accused of being more right-wing than Genghis Khan whom he admires greatly, Gerald is an Oxbridge graduate. He has authored many best-selling books including the recent ' The Margaret Thatcher I knew and Loved' and his previous bestseller 'Reagan, Bush, and Trump -- Gods of Their Time.' In his spare time, you might find Gerald relaxing on a golf course in Kildare, watching International rugby or dining out in Dublin's more fashionable restaurants. Although he strives for a professional journalistic apolitical stance, he feels strongly about the reunification of Ireland and the UK. He also holds membership of both Fine Gael and Fianna Fail.

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