“Socialism steals from the poor” says billionaire who doesn’t pay his taxes

A well-known Irish billionaire has poured scorn over any potential Socialist form of government taking hold on the island of Ireland, claiming such a move would deprive poor people of their money and diminish their resources.

The comments come from Andrew Mansley (54) after it was recently revealed by the Irish Against Tax Avoidance Organisation (IATAO) that Mansley has failed to pay any income tax for the past decade.

Mansley move has become characteristic of a class of people who have gone out of their way to dodge paying their share but suddenly spring out from the floorboards when the socialist argument raises its head.

Mansley’s comments

Speaking to a group of friends in Dublin’s leafy Ballsbridge area, Mansley was nonchalant as he relayed to his close companions the deeply held beliefs that belie his scorn of socialism.

“Look, fellas, it isn’t a hard one to work out. We are rich. Really, really rich in fact. And we want to keep it that way, don’t we? I know you do, Kenny” Mansley said, as he pointed towards his turtle-neck-wearing friend.

“To keep it that way, we must rubbish any idea of a socialist government ever taking root in Ireland! Tell them it takes from the poor and steals their money!” At this point, light laughter could be heard around the room, as the men gathered collectively told each other it was they who stole from the poor and not socialism.

The campaign against socialism

Mansley has since proposed the formulation of a Billionaires Alliance Against Socialism (BAAS) to unite all the billionaires across Ireland and to combat any hope of a socialist government.

It has attracted the interest of many of Ireland’s richest, but many of them are wary of the public limelight lifting the lid on their rabid tax-dodging and not-too-moral practices.

Mansley remains hopeful of convincing at least a majority of billionaires to enlist for the cause, and has been said to assure them by revealing his close ties and deep connections with those “at all levels of government”.

The average Joe reacts

Upon hearing of the comments made by Mansley and his peers in their multi-million, multi-bed and multi-purpose complex, Average Joe of the Average Joe’s Association (AJA) was not surprised at the situation.

“Ah, look, it is what it is,” he told reporters gathered at his local leisure centre. “Sure aren’t they always going on about that? Trying to talk down to us. Sure what even is socialism anyway?”

Mansley’s motivation

Mansley’s motivation for making his latest round of comments stems directly from the IATAO report highlighting his questionable activity, and future reports that threaten to expose him and his colleagues further.

“We are in survival mode, lads. Every socialist elected is a million euros lost per man in this room. So go out, do what you can do demoralise the lefty effort and keep the rich rich!” Mansley urged. 

Meanwhile in Ireland understands that the Irish Government under Fine Gael has been following the comments closely but intends to take no action. A rogue Minister is recorded as saying that “you look after your own in government”.