John Joseph Morgan, a former member of the fourth active service unit of the South Armagh contingent of the Provisional IRA, has offered his letter of amnesty to the Duke and Duchess of Sussex.
The offer comes after Prince Harry revealed to the media that he was taking Meghan and his family to North America. It is believed the ‘On the Run’ letter will help them return home safely should they want to.
Speaking last night, Morgan said: “Doesn’t me heart go out to the misfortunes. It’s about time someone stretched out the hand of friendship to the poor couple and assured them they’re not alone in the world.”
Letters of comfort
Letters of comfort are issued to former members of the IRA by the British Government under the terms of the Good Friday Agreement, promising them that they will not be investigated, prosecuted or harassed by the security forces.
Morgan revealed that he was once wanted by authorities on both sides of the border and even spent seven years on the run before the implementation of the Good Friday Agreement.
“Like everyone knows meself and ‘the boys’ had no love for the Brits. But those days are long gone, thank God, since Martin and Big Ian became the ‘chuckle brothers’.
‘Tis taken for granted among us that it’s ok to be decent to the odd-Brit here and there. It’s not like the auld days when if you were seen even on the same side of the road as a Brit you’d be taken out and fecking kneecapped.”
‘They could use the letter more than me’
“With that poor couple being hounded out of Britain with the fecking press watching their every move, I reckon they could do with the auld letter of comfort more than I could.
“Like, you’d never know when someone will drag something up out of the past. Just look at what happened to Harry’s uncle Andy. For feck-sake, he only went out for a pizza and look at what he got accused of.”
Chased by the tabloids
“Look at it this way. I’m sure that Harry and Megan are being chased left, right and fecking centre by shagging reporters. Me and a few of ‘the boys’ could sort that out real quick. Feck it, we still have the few fastish cars with the false plates hidden around the place.
“Most of the lads are fairly handy at the auld defensive driving. It would be no bother at all to them to avoid the press. If the photographer lads did catch up, ‘the boys’ might be getting on in years, but they’re still fairly handy with a baseball bat,” the once former hit-man promised.
Plenty of safehouses for them
“The other thing is that like any young newlyweds they like the bit of time on their own to make a few more babies. We’ve still got plenty of safe houses where they could shack-up for the odd night.
“I’m sure one of the lads would babysit young Archie for a night or two,” Morgan generously offered. A spokesman for the Duke and Duchess has confirmed they have reviewed Morgan’s kind offer and will get back to him.
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