Irish news media sources are reporting that Prince Harry and his wife Megan, the Duchess of Sussex, have bought a Dublin 4 property and are currently happily residing there.
A spokesperson for the ‘now not so senior’ royals confirmed at a press conference that Harry and Megan have moved into “a smallish ten-bed roomed house in Ballsbridge.”
The Royals are thrilled
“Their Royal Highnesses are absolutely thrilled to be living in Ballsbridge — it’s not quite as classy as Buckingham palace but it’s as close as you’ll get here in Paddy-Land,” the spokesman said.
“In fairness most of the neighbours are descended from landed gentry — you’d need to be to afford the property prices. ‘Twas only yesterday that Megan said to me, ‘Jaysus Harry and me is as happy here in D4 as pigs in s**t’.
‘With all the West Brits living around D4 it’s like being at home in London,’ Megan told me. Isn’t it funny how Megan is beginning to speak like a local?” the spokesperson remarked.
What could be jollier fun?
“Harry and Megan simply love it here in Ballsbridge, the parties and coffee mornings and trips to Brown Thomas — ok, it’s not Harrods but for Paddy Land it will have to do — and Lansdowne Road for the rugby. I mean what could be jollier fun?” she asked.
The spokesperson at this stage told reporters that her name was Annabelle and was single but looking for her mister-right, and said she was taking the opportunity to ‘put herself out there’ as all D4 girls are thought to do from an early age.
She went on to tell the reporters as to how Harry and Megan are extremely thankful to the Taoiseach Leo Varadkar for all his help and kindness in making them feel so welcome.
Harry to Run For Council
“Harry is particularly pleased by Leo’s offer to put him on the Fine Gael ticket for the next elections. The extra money Harry will make will more than makeup for what he losses out on as the money his granny used to give him dries up.
“It’s sort of like Harry got millions from the Queen for doing feck-all now he’ll get millions for doing equally feck-all as a Fine Gael councillor.
“Harry told me he was going to ask his granny to make Leo a Lord or something, he’s been so helpful — after all deep down Leo is as Brit as you can get,” she added.
Irish press more interested in Megan
Unsurprisingly, the Irish press corps was a bit more interested in what Megan was going to do to fill her days now that she was living in Dublin.
Annabelle revealed that “Leo is again being extremely helpful. He knows that she is a bit of an actor and as Taoiseach, he controls what’s what in RTE.
“So he has sort of hinted that he can fix her up with a gig in Fair City or perhaps do the nation a favour and get rid of Ryan Tubridy and let her present the Late Late.”
Bowing before the Royals
The press conference ended up with Annabelle giving the members of the Irish press lessons in how to be courteous, bow and scrape along with tipping the forelock if and when they meet the royals.
Meanwhile in Ireland understands that the Taoiseach, who has already taken private lessons, is extremely good at it and is looking forward to bow to the royals for years to come.
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