Close Menu
Meanwhile in IrelandMeanwhile in Ireland

    SUBSCRIBE TO OUR NEWSLETTER!

    What's Hot

    BREAKING: Street performer Jelvis Pelvis is dead

    April 5, 2025

    The Cheltenham Festival: Why It’s Practically A National Holiday In Ireland

    April 3, 2025

    JOB ALERT: Social Media Content Creator at Meanwhile in Ireland

    March 26, 2025
    Facebook X (Twitter) Instagram
    Meanwhile in IrelandMeanwhile in Ireland
    • Home
    • News
    • Craic
    • Sports
    • More
      • All-Time Top Articles
      • Culture
      • Dublin
      • Funny
      • Irish People
      • Interesting News
      • Satire
      • The Drink!
      • Travel
      • TV and Movies
      • Viral
    • Shop
    Facebook YouTube Instagram TikTok
    Meanwhile in IrelandMeanwhile in Ireland
    You are at:Home » News » Craic » Irish Government rejects British offer of custody of County Fermanagh
    Craic Satire

    Irish Government rejects British offer of custody of County Fermanagh

    Meanwhile in Ireland TeamBy Meanwhile in Ireland TeamFebruary 6, 2020No Comments3 Mins Read
    Facebook Twitter WhatsApp Pinterest LinkedIn Tumblr Email
    Share:
    Facebook Twitter WhatsApp Pinterest Email

    Irish nationalist citizens of County Fermanagh were left reeling late last night when it emerged that the Irish Government “emphatically” rejected the British Government’s offer of permanent custody of the county. 

    In a generous offer from the British Prime Minister Boris Johnson, the South of Ireland was to grow by one county as Fermanagh would officially join the Irish Republic. 

    Justifying his refusal, Taoiseach Leo Varadkar told reporters that “the time is not right for unity” and that the people of Fermanagh “are not the type we want in our Republic, anyway”. 

    The British Government offer 

    Image result for boris johnson
    Credit: BackBoris 2012 Campaign / Flickr

    As a gesture of thanks and a hope for a new start between the two nations, Boris Johnson offered Leo Varadkar the North-Western county after Brexit was finally about to get done. 

    Sources close to Downing Street believe that Johnson was convinced by his aides that Fermanagh was “by far the worst” of the six counties in the North of Ireland, but offering it to Leo “would look like a good gesture”. 

    “We actually surmised that it would work out the best for Britain. Fermanagh never gave the British Government anything but Arlene Foster. Ask Teresa May how that went …” a Government official told Meanwhile in Ireland. 

    Irish Government’s refusal 

    Image result for leo varadkar
    Credit: Liam Lysaght / Flickr

    Boris Johnson made the offer in person to the Taoiseach after the British Premier addressed the Dáil, a speech which was attended by only a handful of TD’s. 

    Varadkar is believed to have point blank refused the offer, owing not only to his anti-Irish unity tendencies but general scepticism of Fermanagh itself and the people who inhabit the county.

    ‘I do what’s best for Ireland’ 

    Speaking to a press gathering at Dublin’s Mansion House, Varadkar portrayed himself as the statesman of the day, seemingly unbeknownst to the Michael Collins portrait that flanked his right-side. 

    “My role as Taoiseach, first and foremost, requires me to protect the interests of Ireland and its people, and I, along with my colleagues in the cabinet, are of the firm belief that having Fermanagh join the Republic would damage Ireland’s interests and her people. 

    Image result for michael collins portrait
    Credit: commons.wikimedia.org

    “As soon as I was informed of the Prime Minister’s kind gesture, I rejected the idea out of hand. I then called Arlene Foster to let her know and she was delighted with my choice, so I think that proves me right,” Varadkar said, to a chorus of sighs from Republican journalists. 

    Riots in Enniskillen 

    Riots have since broken out in the town of Enniskillen, Fermanagh in the wake of the Taoiseach’s refusal to have Fermanagh come on board. Irish nationalists in the town took out their anger by storming Enniskillen Castle and demanded that Varadkar revise his choice. 

    Unionist occupants of the town, and those across the North in general, reacted with delight and generally agreed that the Taoiseach “isn’t that bad after all”. The DUP sent a letter of appreciation to the Taoiseach’s office, who received the letter warmly. 

    Image result for enniskillen castle
    Enniskillen Castle. Credit: commons.wikimedia.org

    Johnson not fussed 

    Meanwhile in Ireland can also confidently disclose that Boris Johnson “isn’t fussed at all” with Varadkar’s decision. Apparently, Johnson could “give a f**k what happens over there” as long as it has “nothing to do with me”. More as we have it. 

    Disclaimer

    This article is satire. Articles in this section are spoof articles which should not be taken as the truth, nor are they are intended to offend. However, if you are offended, please inform us formally via a letter. You can ensure it gets to us by placing it in the nearest recycling bin.

    Share. Facebook Twitter WhatsApp Pinterest LinkedIn Tumblr Email
    Avatar photo
    Meanwhile in Ireland Team

    The Meanwhile in Ireland team is dedicated to bringing you the best in Irish humour, news, and viral content. Since our launch in 2014, we’ve amassed over 900,000 social media followers and hundreds of thousands of annual readers. Our mission is to entertain with our trademark dry Irish humour, satire, and sarcasm while also sharing Ireland’s unique culture and current affairs. Our writers, all native or long-time residents of Ireland, deliver authentic, high-quality articles recognised by award organisations in Ireland and the UK. Enjoy the craic!

    Related Posts

    BREAKING: Street performer Jelvis Pelvis is dead

    By Meanwhile in Ireland TeamApril 5, 2025

    Irish burrito chain to give away 500 burritos if England beat Ireland

    By Siân McQuillanSeptember 6, 2024

    ‘Forget Taylor Swift!’: Commentator’s hilarious reaction to Galway win goes viral

    By Siân McQuillanJuly 1, 2024

    The most and least popular Irish slang phrases, revealed

    By Matthew SloanMay 30, 2024
    OFFICIAL SPONSOR
    Latest Articles

    BREAKING: Street performer Jelvis Pelvis is dead

    April 5, 2025

    The Cheltenham Festival: Why It’s Practically A National Holiday In Ireland

    April 3, 2025

    JOB ALERT: Social Media Content Creator at Meanwhile in Ireland

    March 26, 2025

    Insights Into The Most Engaging Sports Wagering Options (in Ireland)

    February 23, 2025
    SUBSCRIBE TO OUR NEWSLETTER!
      Thank you for Signing Up
    Please correct the marked field(s) below.
    1,true,6,Contact Email,2 1,false,1,First Name,2 1,false,1,Last Name,2
    Stay In Touch
    • Facebook
    • Twitter
    • Instagram
    • TikTok
    Don't Miss

    Guinness commits to brewing an extra 5 million pints per week as pubs reopen

    By Siân McQuillanJune 2, 2021

    With restrictions easing and pubs across Ireland getting ready to reopen, many can’t wait for…

    Wolfe Tones to represent Ireland in Eurovision with ‘Up the Ra’ remix

    December 19, 2023

    JOKE: An Irishman goes into a bar and orders seven shots and one Guinness…

    July 10, 2016

    Meanwhile in Ireland Announces Official Sponsorship with That Prize Guy

    November 25, 2024

    We specialise in Bizarre Irish News, Viral Videos and general Irish Craic.

    • Home
    • About us
    • Contact us
    • Team
    • Work for us
    • Terms of use
    • Privacy policy
    • Disclaimer
    • Copyright
    • Shop
    Follow us

    Connect with us on your favourite social media app.

    Facebook Twitter Instagram Youtube TikTok
    Contact us

    19 Arthur St, Belfast, Northern Ireland, BT1 4GA.

    [email protected]
    SUBSCRIBE TO OUR NEWSLETTER!
      Thank you for Signing Up
    Please correct the marked field(s) below.
    1,true,6,Contact Email,2 1,false,1,First Name,2 1,false,1,Last Name,2
    ©Copyright 2019 - Meanwhile in Ireland | Trading under Emerald Green Media

    Type above and press Enter to search. Press Esc to cancel.