A thirty-five-year-old Limerick man was said to be very upset after being forced to abandon his plans for “a good auld night out on the town with the lads” after bouncers refused to allow him into Scobbies Night Club in Limerick last night.
“All I wanted was a few more pints with the lads,” He was heard to slur as he sat on the kerb weeping into a bag of chips a few doors down from the club.
Witnesses to the incident told Meanwhile In Ireland News that the man, named locally as Thomas, was out enjoying a few pints with his mates who had entered the Night Club some hours earlier. Leaving Thomas downing shots of Tequila with a girl he just met.
It appears that Thomas left the pub on his own, bounced into an adjacent kebab shop and was later seen staggering across the road narrowly avoiding traffic before urinating at an ATM while attempting to withdraw cash. He then joined the queue for Scobbies.
“All I wanted was a few more pints with the lads” he repeated over and over before castigating the parentage of the bouncer.
“That big fecking Polish fecker,” he said. “Who does he think he is coming over here and acting like he owns the place.
He’s lucky I didn’t slap him, Yeah, him and his big fecking mates. ‘Come back again another night’, says he — I will in me arse!”
Another witness to the incident took Thomas’s side and told us “I think it’s fecking disgraceful the way they refused him.
“Alright he had had the few beers and could barely stand and I slightly remember him feeling up some chick in the queue and we all puke after eating a dodgy kebab!
“But to refuse him entry was a shame. I was going to walk away with him, in solidarity like, but I loves Scobbies I does — you’re more or less guaranteed to get the ride.”
It has been reported , Thomas was last seen pouring himself into a taxi, mumbling his barely remembered address and leaving the city centre.
Disclaimer
This article is satire. We do satire articles because it is great craic and Irish people love it! Articles in this section are spoof articles which should not be taken as the truth, nor are they are intended to offend.
