A sixty-year-old American woman has claimed that her deceased grandmother came to her in a dream to warn of the sinking of the ‘Titanic II’, which is currently being built in China and is expected to be launched in 2022.
Rose DeWitt is the Granddaughter of the legendary Rose DeWitt Bukater, who as a seventeen-year-old American aristocrat that survived the sinking of the original Titanic in April 1912.
Mrs. DeWitt has claimed that her now-deceased grandmother appeared to her in a dream and warned that the Titanic II will follow the same fate as its predecessor.
The Titanic II is a replica of the original ill-fated luxury cruise liner which famously sunk in the Mid Atlantic in April 1912 and is the brain-child of Australian billionaire Clive Palmer.
Speaking to the press
Speaking from her home in Orlando, Florida, Rose DeWitt spoke to the international press corps that had assembled around her garden.
“Everybody knows my granny; she was the one who hung of the front of the boat with Leonardo Dicaprio except in real life it was some young artist fella called Jack.
“You should see some of the nudie pictures he painted. Jaysus, you wouldn’t get away with that sort of filth these days,” she said, half-ashamed that her grandmother sanctioned the photos.
‘Granny appeared to me in a dream’
“My granny came to me in a dream one night recently and told me that it was an absolute disgrace that they were building a Titanic II. ‘It’s disrespectful, that fecking Australian and his fancy ideas’, she said to me.”
“Granny was seriously annoyed with the way her relationship with Jack was portrayed in the movie. It was only a one-night stand; Granny told me if she hadn’t had a few glasses of champagne inside her, she wouldn’t have given him a second glance.
“She told me he wasn’t a bit like DeCaprio in real life — most of those third-class passengers hadn’t had a decent wash since they left Ireland,” Rose revealed.
No chance Titanic II will complete its voyage
“Anyway, Granny told me there isn’t a chance in hell that the Titanic II will make it all the way through its maiden voyage. She said ‘the fecking thing will hit another bloody iceberg and you can bet on that’.”
When one of the reporters asked if the lack of icebergs around the China Sea would have any bearing on her granny’s prediction, Rose was quick to answer.
“Granny had that covered,” she answered. “She told me that these days it is more likely that the boat would hit one of those great big fecking plastic mountains that are floating about the oceans.”
New safety measures introduced
Meanwhile in Ireland understands that the owners of the new Titanic are set to introduce certain safety measures to ensure that the Titanic II does not undergo the ordeal that the original ship did.
These measures will include having enough lifeboats for all first and second-class passengers and even a few left over for the third-class passengers.
Safety measures will also include making sure that the two guys on the lookout will be off the drink; not like the last time. And this time if the boat does go down there is no way DeCaprio will be left anywhere near a film set.
Disclaimer
This article is satire. We do satire articles because it is great craic and Irish people love it! Articles in this section are spoof articles which should not be taken as the truth, nor are they are intended to offend.
