Despite the fact they maintain that they’re artists, not comedians, there’s no doubt that The Rubberbandits sit on a golden throne atop the hilltop that is Irish comedy.
Long before The Gospel According to Blindboy, himself and Mr Chrome were throwing up prank phone calls on YouTube, which later evolved into music.
Grab your bag of cans and read on to reminisce on the best Rubberbandits songs.
10. Hash Party – “duck arse duck arse, have you got a job?”
Coming in at number ten is Hash Party. We feel like this track embodies all that The Rubberbandits have to offer as an artistic duo: hash and parties.
Please don’t duck arse the joint at the hash party. To ‘duck arse’ means to wet the end of the spliff, a big no-no in hash party etiquette.
9. Dad’s Best Friend – “I’m your dad’s best friend, your dad’s best friend…”
“… we’re taking him to Holland for the long weekend”. Everyone’s father has that one friend who’s just one of the lads.
The one who steals cocaine from his nephew’s friends and then goes and does it with the lads at the AGM. You know the type.
8. Danny Dyer – “liar liar Danny Dyer, get him in a headlock”
A song that is most definitely sung by the actual Danny Dyer. He sings about doing things like putting saddles on sharks and riding them to Greece after doing a massive bag of speed and breaking into a local zoo. Because why not?
7. Willie O’Dea − it’s decent hash, it’s decent hash, I swear on my ‘tash it’s decent hash
A song about how Blindboy’s life gets flipped upside down one Saturday afternoon around 2.30 pm.
Blindboy is wandering around town when he gets accosted by politician Willie O’Dea looking for a vote, making various life-changing promises of socks, jocks, and hash. Easily one of the best Rubberbandits songs.
6. I Like to Shift Girls – “while they’re ironing my jocks, or fixing holes in my jocks”
“…and when I have chicken pox!”. Mr Chrome and Blindboy Boatface meet each other in an STI clinic. Blindboy regales Mr Chrome with his tale at the clinic, saying he has been spending all his money on his groupies and his sexual health is suffering as a result.
The doctor has advised him only to shift (french kiss) girls from now on, and Blindboy takes the whole thing very seriously.
5. Boyzone – “you’ll never be alone in a zone full of boys”
The manager of the iconic Irish boy band, Boyzone, wants to make them more current with today’s fans.
He brings The Rubberbandits on board to help redesign their image. The lads advise that they have, in fact, nothing to lose, so they should get racist tattoos on their faces and smuggle Louis Walsh to France.
4. Bags of Glue – “there’s no way I’m riding you unless I’m wrecked on bags of glue”
A lovely heartwarming song about only being able to have intercourse with your beloved while engaging in substance abuse. Who are we to kink shame?
3. Spoiling Ivan − knock knock, who’s there? It’s my little teddy bear!
Mr Chrome meets a child called Ivan crying in the park one day, and they become fast friends.
This song describes their unexpected friendship full of hugs, sticky buns, and throwing all of Ivan’s parents’ heroin away in the nighttime. Funny yet wholesome, with some serious undertones.
2. Fight Your Father – “cause I’m a black belt in karate, and a master of kung fu”
“…and I’ll kick his f*cking teeth in, just to prove my love to you”. The Rubberbandits know how to show their love for a woman.
Mr Chrome sings of his love for the beloved Róisín, while Blindboy trains him for the big fight in the music video.
1. Horse Outside – “if you try to clamp my horse, he’ll kick you in the face”
Their first viral sensation, ‘Horse Outside’, is, of course, number one. Another romance story about a man asking a bridesmaid if she would like a lift on his horse after the wedding.
The bridesmaid chooses him over a whole host of other potential rides. Lovely.